Fugger: Miley Cyrus

Billboard Music Awards Fug Carpet: Miley Cyrus


This is certainly not the worst Miley has looked — I think we all know from embarrassingly many years of Cyrus-spotting that she has come leaps and bounds in this regard — but at the end of the day, she’s still just wearing a giant blazer like she thinks she’s half of the Talking Heads. Specifically, the upper half.

[Photos: Getty]

react:

Fugley Cyrus


This was NOT at Coachella (thank God!) and yet it probably should have been:

Listen, Miley. Just because it’s shorts, and there is a little fabric perenium yoking front to back, does not mean it still can’t be TOO SHORT in a very yelpy and capsy way. Also, it’s insane. I think that’s what He-Man sees behind his eyelids when he sleeps, assuming he isn’t busy having nightmares about forgetting to buy enough “Just For Men: Sunshine Formula” and thus blowing his whole carefully crafted cover identity.

[Photo: Pacific Coast News]

react:

Fug or Fabs: Miley Cyrus


Heather and I have noted before that we are prone to a kind of Stockholm Syndrome with the people we fug. You cover them long enough and the next thing you know, you have developed — AGAINST YOUR WILL — a kind of fondness for them. Or, as in my case with Vanessa Hudgens, thanks to her Run of Insanity in the current Fug Madness, you fall in love with them.  It’s not a I Want To Make Out With You love, as much as it is an I Want to Clap My Hands With Glee Over Your Wardrobe; Please Never Change kind of love, but LOVE IT IS. And the point is, I think I’m falling in love with Miley similarly. It all started when she chowed down at a food truck, where all great romances begin, with bonus points for how terrible The Last Song is.  Mix that all up in your mind blender and here we are — I think she might look kind of good, but I have NO IDEA if I can trust my own judgement. LOOK AND JUDGE:

What say ye?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...
react:

Fuggah Monfuga


Remember when we wondered if the haircut and the demure Oscars gown would herald a classier Miley Cyrus?

Hope dies eternal.

Although I guess congratulations are in order for her snagging a hostessing gig at the world’s first taco joint for belly dancers. Don’t order the bottomless tortilla chips. It might be a double entendre.

[Photo: Getty]

react:

Oscar Fug Carpet: Miley Cyrus


With Miley, I always feel like the angel of doom — the frequent bearer of bad news, wherein I attempt to cushion yet another in a string of blows by focusing on the positive first. Like, I’m still loving the haircut. Liam Hemsworth is still making that facial expression. (You know the one. It’s… the one. At this point I’d be bereft without it.) Miley’s makeup is great; it emphasizes her eyes so stunningly. And she’s not wearing an acid-washed lady infection, which is happy for everyone who does not make Monistat for a living. But the dress itself is… not my cup of Earl Grey. I wish it were. Growing up from teen star to rebellious crackpot to mature young lady is not a fun transition to make in private, much less in public, but there is plenty of ground between Xanadu buttocks and Helen Mirren. Although I think even Helen Mirren would have left this on the “no” pile for being too stuffy.

[Photos: Getty]

react:

Party In The Fug.S.A.


Let’s lead with the good news: Miley got a haircut/got her extensions of doom taken out, and she looks great.

Right? It’s so healthy and sassy like that. And it makes sense: She’s about to hit up a lot of Hunger Games premieres alongside Liam “Last Song” Hemsworth, so she might as well try and get in the conversation, you know? Even if that conversation turns out to be, “Man, they could’ve just CGI’d him into this sucker from that Miley Cyrus movie and it would’ve been the same.” Although he really IS cute, so I am actually hoping he blows it out of the water as Gale. No, wait… get ready for it… I hope he is a Gale force. SNAP.

But the thing is, there’s a reason I cut this photo off at the head, and it’ s because what’s on the jump will make you do that half-inhale, half-squeal where you grab your face and then look around to see if any of your coworkers saw you going all Edvard Munch:

Read More

react: