Fugger: Nicole Kidman

Golden Globes Well Played Carpet: Nicole Kidman


I love this picture.

The two dudes behind Nicole Kidman probably didn’t even register with each other, but in the photo, it looks like they had a “One, two, three, BREAK” mind-meld where they decided to photobomb her at the same time (that, or they’re caught in the tractor beam of their shared gaze and cannot help but come together on the course of true love). Of course, I also love this photo because Nicole looks freaking spectacular. So beautiful. I like to imagine that the dress is a carefully hidden message that, when translated by rune, says, “Hey, Tom, how’s that Holmes & Yang thing going for you guys, HAHAHAHA.” Because while Nicole Kidman does not strike me as juvenile, I do think it’d be hard to resist the temptation to gloat in code. That is, as long as you’re sure he won’t use some L. Ron Hubbard magic to counter with a rejoinder about Just Go With It, which I saw on my sickbed and which was a shame festival. Her aura probably needed this gorgeous outing to cleanse itself.

[Photo: Getty]

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CMA Awards Well Played, and Fug Carpet: Nicole Kidman (Plus Keith Urban)


KEITH UBRAN: Hey, Nicole.

NICOLE KIDMAN: Hello, Keith.

KEITH: You look….

NICOLE: I know.

KEITH: GREAT.

NICOLE: I KNOW!

KEITH: I mean, your hair looks a little –

NICOLE: Don’t ruin this moment.

KEITH: I was just going to say that it looks like your dry shampoo at the roots didn’t get –

NICOLE: KEITH. LET ME ENJOY THIS.

KEITH: Sorry. You do look great.

NICOLE: So do you, actually.

KEITH: These pants aren’t too skinny-legged for me?

NICOLE: I’m just thrilled I can’t see your waxed chest. In public, I mean, baby. In public. And you also looked nice the night before.

KEITH: Maybe we shouldn’t talk about that.

NICOLE: Why not?

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Well Played, Nicole Kidman


Honestly, I feel like Keith Urban’s expression kind of says it all.

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Royalpalooza 2011: Well Played, Nicole Kidman


Hello, pretty redhead.

This is good: relaxed hair, relaxed face, beautiful skin, and a nice color. I tend to think that I grade Nicole Kidman on a bit of a curve, because when she wonks it up, it’s generally so far up Crackfool Avenue that she only has to walk back toward me halfway for me to be all, OH THANK GOD. Seriously, look at her from the CMTs again, and then tell me this isn’t like a freaking three-for-one martini Happy Hour by comparison.

It also has a dramatic back:

good thing she didn’t wear it backward

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CMTs Unfug It Up: Nicole Kidman


Well. How about those shoes?

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ACM Fug or Fab Carpet: Nicole Kidman


KEITH: Come on, pookie face, give the cameras some love.

NICOLE: No.

KEITH: Awwwww, who’s being a crankypants?

NICOLE: Shut up.

KEITH: Are my little Crabby Drawers? Are you?

NICOLE: Stop it! I just… I don’t want to break my streak.

KEITH: What streak?

NICOLE: The one where I wear something perfect when I’m your date to something, and then go all crazy when it’s you bein the plus-one.

KEITH: My widdle teeny weeny Snitty Nicky! Don’t be such a poopy pants. Let your public decide.

NICOLE: I don’t know…

KEITH: Pleeeeeeease, sugarlips? My little pumpkinny-wumpkinny?

NICOLE: Okay, fine, but only so you’ll never call me that again.

thanks for obliging, Nic

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