Fugger: Taylor Swift

Grammy Awards Mostly Well Played: Taylor Swift

Feb 13, 2012 By Jessica AT 10:30 am
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The 54th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Arrivals
The 54th Annual GRAMMY Awards - ArrivalsThe 54th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red CarpetThe 54th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Show
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First off: I like Taylor Swift. She writes songs that are totally fun to sing along with in the car, and I actually think she is one of the only funny things about the execrable Valentine’s Day. But her singing voice isn’t generally very strong, especially live, so I always worry when she gets up to yelp at one of these things. That being said, I thought girlfriend sounded pretty good last night. On key, mostly, and way stronger than usual. Voice lessons? Keep on doing what you’re doing. And let’s look at your outfits!

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Fug or Fab: Taylor Swift

Nov 30, 2011 By Heather AT 11:00 am

It’s a tale as old as time, beginning with “I was going to ‘Well Played’ this,” and continuing with, “AND THEN.”

I do love her in red (isn’t she contractually obligated to wear gold, silver, or nude tones — sparkles optional,  but encouraged — to every event?), and I like that she went with the restrained eyeliner and bold lip. It’s all fine, is what I’m saying. But then I kept looking, and… is the light reflecting strangely, or are there bra-cup outlines under there? Hooray for bras, a friend to every breast, but now that I’ve seen it I can’t go back and pretend it’s not happening. SOMETHING is going on under there, and I’m not just referring to how that boning and shiny stuff means her torso looks a bit like a Grey’s Anatomy episode gone wrong. I need you to vote and screw my head on straight.

But first, at least this happened:

It’s lit’rally adorable

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CMA Awards Well Played, Taylor Swift

Nov 10, 2011 By Jessica AT 3:00 pm

I can’t ding Taylor for this — she looks lovely, even if the detailing at the bottom sort of looks like something was accidentally sheared off this dress in a tragical meat-slicer accident:

Is it a little snoozy? Sure. Is it a little bridal? Yep. But she looks very pretty, and I’m grateful that she has branched away from the sparkles, at least for the moment. Not that I don’t wholeheartedly EMBRACE a sparkle — I’m writing this from inside a sequin factory — but it had all gotten a little predictable from T. Swift.

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Celebs at Rodarte: Fugs and… well, more Fugs

Sep 15, 2011 By Heather AT 12:30 pm
Elle Fanning, Dakota Fanning
Dakota Fanning, Elle FanningTaylor SwiftRooney MaraChina Chow
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We had a keen feeling we’d see a Fanning at Fashion Week; we just didn’t correctly predict where. Rodarte is one of those lines that always puts on an interesting show, but whenever I see one of the outfits on somebody, it makes me scratch my head so hard I lose a layer of skin. Let’s take a squizz at what everyone in the front row wore — well, you’ve already seen Beyonce’s baby bonnet — and applaud Solange for leaving on the J.Crew blouse she’d put on earlier in the day, because when it’s cute, KEEP IT.

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Teen Choice Zzzzzzz: Taylor Swift

Aug 8, 2011 By Heather AT 1:30 pm

I’ve said it before, and I will repeat it, as I fear none of my own echoes: I don’t know if Taylor Swift ACTUALLY wears the same thing all the time, but if I keep FEELING like she does, isn’t that almost as bad?

I mean, this in particular looks ripped from, like, a wedding on Teen Moms or something. I hate how the bodice reminds me of a bathing suit, the way it is gathering near her boobs. But overall it’s just sort of… I saw it and said, “Oh, yes, of course.” Now, I recognize this is a tough row to hoe for Taylor here, because if she throws over her usual style in favor of, say, Rihanna’s, we will of course fug the hell out of it and wonder whether she left her sanity in a jar at Jake Gyllenhaal’s house. But there is ever so much acreage between samey-samey and Rihanna. In fact, there is acreage on all sides. She could Emma Stone it up, or go full Mila Kunis. She doesn’t have to wear a string bikini and dance 90-percent-nude down the streets of Barbados. She just needs to wake it up a little, that’s all. And then probably write a song called, “Doughy Pasty Blog Ho (Your Forehead Is My Washboard).” But that’s fine. I will take that bullet — although mostly because now I kind of want to hear that song.

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Fug the Cover: Taylor Swift

Jun 28, 2011 By Jessica AT 1:00 pm

Oh my God.

So, yesterday I was reading The Carrie Diaries — Candace Bushnell’s YA take on Carrie Bradshaw, which is, if you’re wondering, pretty entertaining, and also benefits from the fact that you can just imagine SJP in Square Pegs throughout — which is set in the 80s, and when I put it down and came across this, I really had a moment where I wondered if I’d hit my head and woke up IN the 80s, because I’m pretty sure this was the cover of Seventeen for every issue between 1987 and 1991. And if so, does that mean I have to take Pre-Algebra again? BECAUSE I JUST CAN’T.

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