Fugger: Zooey Deschanel

The New Fug

Aug 17, 2011 By Jessica AT 10:00 am
Premiere Of The Weinstein Company's "Our Idiot Brother" - Arrivals
Premiere Of The Weinstein Company's "Our Idiot Brother" - ArrivalsPremiere Of The Weinstein Company's "Our Idiot Brother" - Arrivals
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I had two separate conversations last night, and it’s like they got together and had a baby this morning: a) that Zooey Deschanel got a new stylist sometime over the last six months, and she or he has been kicking ass, and b) there was this time that my friend Marissa and I were lost in Paris and we were helped by a drunk mime who lurched out of an alley eating a sandwich.

Meet that stylized mime baby.

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Royalpalooza 2011: Well Played, Zooey Deschanel

Jul 11, 2011 By Jessica AT 12:00 pm

I don’t know what’s happened to Zooey D here — she’s riding high on having a sitcom on the fall schedule, she’s extra excited her sister is having a baby, she got a new stylist, or she’s just overjoyed to no longer be the voice of Cotton: The Fabric of Our Lives (no offense, Cotton, I’m wearing you now) – but she went out this weekend with nary a dark tight, and also looked basically adorable.

First, last night, at the Winnie the Pooh premiere — the very first hipster Winnie the Pooh, judging from its use of Keane in the trailer. Like, I really like Keane and I LOVE that song but that’s a band tailor-made for trailers in which, like, Jesse Eisenberg cries in the rain on a pier while his girlfriend leaves him for some preppy dude.  Anyway, behold Ms Zooey:

Cute, right? I feel like she looks like she should be on the cover of Lonny, starring in a story about, say, her re-done breakfast room called “Zooey’s Breezy Los Angeles Brunch!” and holding a plate of crumpets in one hand a pitcher of Bloody Marys in the other. My rule of thumb is: if your dress goes with a cocktail, I’M SOLD.

And earlier this weekend:

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500 Days of Fugger

Jun 16, 2011 By Jessica AT 1:00 pm

So many thoughts:

a) I never thought I’d miss the Zooey Deschanel Cotton ads until I heard the Kate Bosworth Cotton ads. Kate Bosworth sings about as well as beaver being put through a pasta maker. Zooey, come back.

b) Girl, sometimes it’s okay to wear a cardigan.

c) I’m calling it right now: bun in the oven. Don’t laugh, WE’VE BEEN RIGHT BEFORE.

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Oscars Who Wore It Better: Mia Wasikowska vs. Zooey Deschanel

Mar 2, 2011 By Jessica AT 9:30 am

Zooey Deschanel has enviably shiny hair — I just accidentally said it was “enviously” shiny, and while it does seem to have a personality of its own, I doubt it’s so big because it’s full of jealousy.

And I wish that she was wearing that skirt with a whole other bodice — or, I guess, that bodice with a different skirt — because while I don’t mind each piece on its own (and I actually had a skirt JUST like that, except pink, back in the day, and I loved it. It was obnoxiously preppy), together, this feels a bit OVERWHELMINGLY TEXTURAL.

Mia wore something similar

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(FUG) Days of Summer

Jan 24, 2011 By Jessica AT 10:00 am

It’s a bad sign when your outfit prompts me to wonder if you are one of the many many many MANY MANY Hollywood celebrities who’ve got a bun in the oven/are all sprogged up/ have found themselves up the duff/who’re cooking a human hot pocket in their lady microwave/whatever your pregnancy euphemism of choice may be:

There’s been no announcement of an impending Deschanellette, but of course that doesn’t MEAN anything and if there IS a baby percolating in her slow cooker, then I will of course get to crow about it for WEEKS. And if there isn’t, I wonder why Zooey — who is so pretty — would wear this. Unless it’s just because she’s suddenly become a mega-fan of the grape in the Fruit of the Loom ads and this is like a high-style homage. I get it. The grape is really good in those ads.

For kicks, let’s look at her shoes:

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Grammy Awards Fug Ceremony: Zooey Deschanel

Feb 11, 2009 By Jessica AT 1:13 pm
“Oh, shit. Did my stylist say I look like the Sofa King Droopy — you know, of Droopy and Dave’s Awesome Sofas You Love — or….so f%@#*ing droopy? WHY DIDN’T I ASK HER BEFORE I GOT OUT OF THE CAR?”
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