ANNE HATHWAY: So, what’s the deal here?

VALENTINO: For the last time, I JUST LIKE TO BE TAN, ALL RIGHT? I WANT TO BE TAN. I WANT TO BE THE COLOR OF A BURNISHED COFFEE TABLE. I WANT TO BE THE COLOR OF A DELICIOUS MAPLE DANISH. I WANT –

ANNE: No. What’s the deal with this EVENT? I know about your tanning thing.

VALENTINO: Ah. Apologies. People are usually just so….

ANNE: I know.

VALENTINO: But yeah. I don’t know.

ANNE: What do you mean?

VALENTINO: What do YOU mean?

ANNE: Why am I dressed like this? I can’t tell what the hell the dress code was at this party.

VALENTINO: It’s called the The White Fairy Tale Love Ball.

ANNE: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Is it a ball celebrating fairytale love at which we are all supposed to wear white? Is it something called a “Tale Love Ball” for someone called the White Fairy, and if so, is she going to kill us all?

VALENTINO: I think that’s the White Witch.

ANNE: Well. That’s a relief. But if it’s a White….Love…Ball thing, why are some people wearing red?

VALENTINO: We are raising money for parks for underprivileged Russian children!

ANNE: So it’s….COMMUNIST?

VALENTINO: No! Red is for the HEART. I think. Also, I am famous for red dresses, and it’s my house, so…

ANNE: Okay. So you really have no idea what’s going on?

VALENTINO: Not really.

ANNE: And it MIGHT be weird that I’m wearing this thing on my head, and it might not be weird?

VALENTINO: Honestly, it probably is at least a little weird.

ANNE: …I just hope there’s an open bar.