ANNE HATHWAY: So, what’s the deal here?
VALENTINO: For the last time, I JUST LIKE TO BE TAN, ALL RIGHT? I WANT TO BE TAN. I WANT TO BE THE COLOR OF A BURNISHED COFFEE TABLE. I WANT TO BE THE COLOR OF A DELICIOUS MAPLE DANISH. I WANT –
ANNE: No. What’s the deal with this EVENT? I know about your tanning thing.
VALENTINO: Ah. Apologies. People are usually just so….
ANNE: I know.
VALENTINO: But yeah. I don’t know.
ANNE: What do you mean?
VALENTINO: What do YOU mean?
ANNE: Why am I dressed like this? I can’t tell what the hell the dress code was at this party.
VALENTINO: It’s called the The White Fairy Tale Love Ball.
ANNE: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Is it a ball celebrating fairytale love at which we are all supposed to wear white? Is it something called a “Tale Love Ball” for someone called the White Fairy, and if so, is she going to kill us all?
VALENTINO: I think that’s the White Witch.
ANNE: Well. That’s a relief. But if it’s a White….Love…Ball thing, why are some people wearing red?
VALENTINO: We are raising money for parks for underprivileged Russian children!
ANNE: So it’s….COMMUNIST?
VALENTINO: No! Red is for the HEART. I think. Also, I am famous for red dresses, and it’s my house, so…
ANNE: Okay. So you really have no idea what’s going on?
VALENTINO: Not really.
ANNE: And it MIGHT be weird that I’m wearing this thing on my head, and it might not be weird?
VALENTINO: Honestly, it probably is at least a little weird.
ANNE: …I just hope there’s an open bar.