Freaky Fug Friday: THE WINNERS

And made you tell us what unconventional household item you would wear if you were forced to make a half-naked splash on the red carpet. Our winners, both of whom get a copy of Unbreak My Heart by Melissa Walker, are:

I’ll pull inspiration from Dobby the house-elf and wear a tea cozy as a fancy hat (I assume I’ll be attending the Kentucky Derby), and make a “dress” out of tied-together tea bags. That way, though of course I’ll have plenty of ventilation, if I start sweating, I will only smell of chamomile or peppermint.

I’d call upon my inner Claudia Kishi and fashion something out of the many, many cables in my home. TV cables. Old, forgotten VCR cables. Cell phone charger cables. Ethernet cables. Just a whole bunch of cables, wrapped around my body, as well strategically NOT wrapped in certain areas. The whole thing would then become impossibly tangled, as cables tend to do, ensuring that the whole ensemble will stay in place as I do lunges and squat-thrusts down the red carpet.