You know what I decided?
This is just an homage to all those times on Sex and the City where Carrie wore a bra in situations wherein most ladies would be bra-less (e.g, every time she had sex, ever, as well — I suspect — as in the shower). (Which ain’t a slam on SJP not wanting to be all Nipples Akimbo on screen as much as it is a passing thought that instead of always showing her bra, they could have CUT AROUND THIS like every other show on TV, instead of making it seem like Carrie was a secret Never Nude.) (Yes, I still think about Sex and the City. Leave me alone.) (I STILL won’t see Sex and the City III.) (That is a lie. But I will ONLY watch it on a plane.) And the gloves, obviously, are a salute to Madonna, the president of Ladies Against Aging Hands. She’s actually also the president of Women In Favor of Visible Lingerie, so those two must hang out more than previously assumed.
Comments (81):
And is the hair a homage to Girls Just Want to Have Fun?
That always bothered me too!
Seriously, right?! And she always slept in one too! I remember always thinking what girl sleeps in their bra!?!? That was one of my secret disagreements with the show. Ha..never nude. I do love arrested development!!
I love this post!!!
I can just imagine Carrie in her cut-off jean shorts over top a very poufy flower-pinned skirt.
Ehh, I do both. I don’t like my boobs bouncing around, giving me that “ouch…ouch…ouch” jogging-while-buxom feeling during sex, and I just feel more comfortable sleeping with a bra on, keeping them separated and un-sweaty. So there are at least two women who wear bras in bed, haha.
This would have totally been a Fab if she had only worn a camisole (or even a white bustier) under it.
Also I agree – I still watch re-runs of SAC – and it always makes me go, what in the what what? I was watching a re-run of Bridesmaids theother night (shut up I know you hate that movie) and Kristin Wig’s character totally does an SJP every time she had sex with the oaf.
It would be hard to cut away from the “can George Glass do this to you?” scene, though… and I LOVE that there are no boobs in Bridesmaids. I am so, so, so sick of seeing gratuitous boobs on screen.
True enough – it wasn’t like I wanted to see her bewbs – it just made me think of SJP is all.
I still refuse to see SATC II.
The bra-showing only bothered me when she would wear a dress that was backless and her freaking bra strap is showing. Who does that?
Exactly what I was thinking- that always drove me nuts. And what’s funny is I specifically remember when she was a guest judge on Project Runway and she chided a contestant for having a dress with the bra showing. Granted, it was supposed to be a garment for her Bitten clothing line, but considering how much she hearts bra showing I thought it was weird.
That woman looks like I do right now. Oh Honey NO!
She is an alien. I just decided.
I would put her more in the category of a transitional life form — which the aliens are using to gradually lull us into complacency about their impending takeover of our planet.
Pay attention, and you’ll see lots of others.
Yuck!
I’ll never understand people who choose to be ‘fashion-forward/trendy’ rather than to simply look GOOD.
This. Just put on CLOTHES instead of trying to make some sort of statement.
I’ve decided that SJP enjoys being laughed at.
White shoes = massive ewwww…I am unable to comment on the remainder her costume.
Sadly, those are Manolo’s.
Rounded toes aren’t great, but Roach Stompers?
Roach stompers are totally coming back. Prepare thyself!
@Kit – Blech. I’ll just have to wear my real roach-stomping Doc Martens until the phase passes. Why does anyone think that type of toe makes a foot look good?
Better than platforms!
@Kristen – Good point
See also: Mutton/Lamb, MY GOD THE EYELINER, Posture, Sucking In The Cheeks, Teasing Comb.
I don’t think those are “sucking the cheeks”, I think they’re “sunken cheeks”.
I read once how she was invited to an Oscar de la Renta show and Mr. de la Renta “dressed her” for the event. I don’t know how often that happens. This is an LV dress at an LV presentation. I’m curious if someone dressed her for the event. Maybe then we can’t blame her for the bra??
Anyway….I liked the dress on the runway, but I would have much preferred a nude lining built into the dress or a can’t-really-see-it-but-it’s-opaque-and-covers-her-boobs camisole. The black bra is really distracting and takes away from what’s actually a pretty dress that fits her quite well. I also don’t get her penchant for roach-killer white shoes. They just seem very 80′s to me….and not the good part of the 80′s. As for the gloves, they seem a little silly to me, but ask me how I feel about them in 15 years! Not sure how I feel about the hair. I think I would need to see another picture from the event. I generally like her hair down and loose and more natural as it softens her overall look, so this might have been a good hair night.
Dude with the beer in the background is speaking for all of us. Is it odd that I’m most offended by her shoes?
SJP simply wants to remind us that she can hold her own in the upcoming March competition.
But this raises an interesting point: is SJP wearing an outfit, or a costume? I think it’s too fine a line and so it makes sense to me that we have to lump ‘em all together in Fug Madness. If Fug Nation wishes to vote for fug outfits over wild costumes, we have the democratic power to do that . . .
Also, credit to Diane Keaton, founding member of the LAAH.
I wish LAAH really existed… mostly because I really like the acronym.
Oh, I was an active member of my local chapter for awhile. We vowed to stop smoking (and sometimes, we did) and we collected magazine samples of expensive face creams for use on our aging hands.
It’s all very retro, from her eighties hair to the lace shirt and the gloves. Since it fits her well and the look is intentional, I’m not going to say “fug”. It feels like a costume, not something she would usually wear. Especially that hair. That’s odd hair for her. And it does age her. Bangs might be a good option to soften her look.
Ok, I must admit that I like wearing black bras with white shirts, but would NEVER wear a white bra with a black shirt! Now, I think this was not the time to do that, SJP! I could’ve been able to deal with a white bra or a white cami underneath because the dress is cute, but the black bra is a huge NO and the white gloves makes her look like a little girl on the day of her Confirmation! Plus, the wave in her hair is in full salute and awful!
I would have defended this look pointy shoes and all (I love a pointy toe. I don’t WEAR them, they hella hurt, but they look pretty to me.) if she had just, for the love of Patricia Field, worn a bustier under it in a color. A neon would have been cool.
I agree! If you’re going to do 80s Madonna, go all bustier or stay home!
Any reference to being a never nude totally cracks me up.
Does she own denim cut-offs and some blue paint?
She has the sinewy Madonna arms, too. Not attractive. I admire these ladies a lot for going to the gym, staying trim and fit, but.. really? Can’t one achieve fitness without developing such ropy, gaunt arms? When I look at her arms, they say to me, “I work out obsessively, and diet to the point of malnutrition, because I am convinced that if I do those two things enough, I won’t look my age.”
i wish she had a worn a white bustier.. i would have loved this if she did
Word!
I still can’t reconcile her and Ferris Beuller with his thicker middle section and Honda CRV.
That’s a pretty dress, and the black boob lids aren’t actually so offensive. They seem to follow the cut of the dress’s bodice and there are no straps. The gloves and shoes are ridiculous.
The woman behind her is either wearing snow pants or leather sweats.
Or maybe dance pants? The mind reels.
Those are leather pants with an elastic waist band… Ew!
I love her body language and expression. Scared boredom. That’s a hard look to pull off.
I know it’s a trick of the camera angle, but her head looks ginormous in this picture.
I wish some whacked out celebrity would name his or her daughter ‘Nipples Akimbo’. That’s just fun to say.
Does she EVER look in the mirror?
I think not.
An alien?
Yep, just like Jada Pinkett.
JillI: “still refuse to see SATC II.”
And right you are. I wish I could un-see it.
“Is that… is that hair gel?”
Anyone else getting a There’s Something About Carrie vibe from this hair? Did she get her “hair gel” from Matthew Broderick? Ewwwwww.
sidenote: I stopped watching SATC I after Charlotte “Poughkeepsied” in her pants. Double-ewww.
The see-through blouse paired with gloves is causing cognitive dissonance. In what universe does that combination make sense?
I stopped watching SATC when Carrie had that ridiculous meltdown in a wedding dress and dumped Aidan. And this outfit is the epitome of fug from top to toe. This latest business with the gloves by Madonna and SJP is tiresome. If it’s to hide aging hands, what are they going to do about aging turkey necks? Elizabethan ruffs?
I live in hope that, one day, they’ll learn the merits of just growing old gracefully and dressing in an elegant way, and realising that they don’t have to be the hottest and slimmest women for their entire lives, and that this is actually OK. Mind you, I realise that this will happen at the same time that we all accept that getting older – and even looking our ages – does not equal being ugly, so I realise that I’m talking like a crazy person and should just go outside and shout at squirrels or something.
I agree with Rowynn that her obvious poor health detracts from my appreciation of her fashion choices. Her arms look like gristly lengths of old, leathery rope. Actually, they look like a heroin addict’s oddly mutilated forearms. Killing yourself to fit into weird, teensy clothes should count as the worst fuggery of all.
There’s no need to be mean!
You do realise that this kind of OTT personal criticism of a person’s appearance that tends to drive people’s obsession with their appearance, right? You’re part of the problem, in other words.
Nipples Akimbo – the name of my new band.
Can we PLEASE have a recap post of our our “new band names”????? Pretty PLEASE!!?!?!?
@tshadix: Are you f’in serious? Obvious poor health?, Gristly lengths of old, leathery rope?, Like a heroin addict’s oddly mutilated forearms???
Aren’t you a delight… [Not]
It’s just that the black privacy- thingies- look like misplaced shoulder pads, because her breasts are not that large and are NOT DOWN THERE.
Holy crap! Forget the outfit (which is seriously forgettable). THAT HAIR! It’s her worst hairdo yet–and she’s had some doozies. SJP, please please please do yourself a favor and go back to the curly bob that was SOOO flattering to your face shape–even more so now that you’re (yes, let’s face it) older.
Yes! The Hair! That is 80s mall hair right there, and the height of it only serves to further elongate her face. The curly bob was so cute on her. I, too, wish she’d return to that look.
The curly bob was the best for her!!!! Especially as she is getting older (fact of life)
the high hair at her crown is definitely doing her a disservice, overall effect is way too oval, approaching Queen Anne dining table proportions
Nipples Akimbo would be a good name for a female professional wrestler.
Or a roller-derby girl.
At least she’s not wearing the gloves, just carrying them in an obvious homage to 50s church ladies. Mazeltov on displaying your veiny granny hands to the world, Jessica. Embrace your nascent crone-iness, even if that means showing your bra like the insane Chloris Leachman character on Raising Hope.
Jeez, what a horrible thing to say! She doesn’t have ‘veiny granny hands’ – she has normal hands for a woman her age.
Sarah Jessica, that is.
It’s not being mean to state that this woman looks seriously unhealthy.
This totally reminded me that I think all Sims are Never Nudes since they shower and have sex in their underwear.
Also how weird is it that they spin into different outfits for their jobs, but sleep in their clothes.
Also SJP looks kind of depressed.
GOD, I burst out laughing 5 times reading this post. Jessica, never change. Yo u areawesome!
Those arms are a big worry.
Eat a sandwich! She looks tired and too thin. It is not a good look on a woman of a certain age. The dress could have been great if not for the black bra.
She needs a white pointy shoe intervention. Good grief.
My first instinct is to put a cami under this, but even then I don’t know if it can be saved.
SATC II should not be seen by anybody ever. As if SATC I wasn’t awful enough, SATC II made me cringe in a way I haven’t fully recovered from.
Anyway, I went off Never Nude Carrie completely after she dumped Aidan for Mr Big. She dumped the sweet, hard-working, honest guy for the rich, old, manipulator? *brain explosion*
“She dumped the sweet, hard-working, honest guy for the rich, old, manipulator? *brain explosion*”
I know. I know!
Fug ladies, you are seriously, wickedly funny. Keep up the good work.
There is something fraught about this whole look. The sinewy bony arms, the sharp hipbones, the pointy shoes, the overdone hair, not to mention the black bra debacle. What if… SJP had her hair cut into a sleek bob, relaxed a lot more and skipped a few gym visits and put on a perfectly styled, elegant outfit. Would the sky fall in?
In this photo, with that hair, SJP evidences an alarming resemblance to Helen Gurley Brown in the prime of late middle age. Come to think of it, Carrie is Helen Gurley Brown’s offspring career-wise. Gaak!
OMG! I had this exact same hairstyle in 1992! Does this mean that the ‘Stairway to Heaven’ bangs and Rave Mega Hold #4 is coming back? Oh sweet Lord! NO!
The least bothersome detail about this picture is the visible bra. What really is shocking is how frightful she looks! Does she not resemble the skeleton in the biology lab? No really!
I honestly don’t think this is her best look.
Just another day for SJP.
One thing I will say about SJP– she recycles! She’s worn these same shoes in at least two other Fug posts.