KANYE: HOLD THE PHONE.

KIM: I can’t fit anything else in my purse, Kanye.

KANYE: IT IS AN EXPRESSION, KIMBERLY. I WAS WORDSMITHING. IT MEANS ‘WTF OMG.’

KIM: Oh, okay. Well, right back at you.

KANYE: WHY ARE YOU WEARING THAT OUTSIDE? AND I DON’T MEAN TO CHIDE OR BE AT ALL SNIDE, BUT I WANT YOU TO HIDE BECAUSE SOMEBODY LIED AND TOLD YOU THAT OUTFIT WAS FLY, WHEN IT’S JUST A SEXYTIME RIDE, AND IT HURTS MY PRIDE THAT FOR A PARTY YOU TRIED WEARING THE GIFT THAT I PLIED FROM A DESIGNER WHO CRIED WHEN I TOOK THIS FOR MY BRIDE. AND NOW TO THEE, WODE BETIDE, BECAUSE MY HURT IS SO WIDE THAT I FEEL A DIVIDE. AND TONIGHT I WON’T BE YOUR EROTIC TOUR GUIDE, SO ACCESS DENIED, PUT DOWN THE ASTROGLIDE AND GO THINK ABOUT HOW YOU WORE LINGERIE TO A CASINO. I AM THE MOST KNOWN FOR CLOTHING AND NOW I FEEL LOATHING.

KIM: I don’t know what any of that means, but your coat would make the awesomest wallpaper for a secret room under the stairs.

KANYE; I’M GOING TO GO BUILD ONE OF THOSE RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE ARTISTIC EXPRESSION IS THE CORNERSTONE OF THE UNIVERSE. NO DISRESPECT TO BEN AFFLECK.

[Photo: Getty]