“YEAH THAT’S RIGHT HAWAII.
“MY GIRL AND I ARE GETTING FRO-YO, AND WE’RE GETTING IT TO GO, YO, ‘CAUSE WE’RE IN HAWAII AND IT’S A HUNDRED DEGREES ABOVE TWENTY BELOW, JOE. WHICH ACTUALLY MEANS I AM CONFUSED ABOUT WHY MY LADY IS WEARING SO MUCH LEATHER. WHY ARE HER SHOES WEARING SOCKS? THEY’RE LIKE A MEAN MAN-MADE POX, A TUBULAR SWEAT-BOX, SO UNLESS SHE’S WILY LIKE A FOX AND GOT HERSELF SOME LEG BOTOX, THEN I DON’T KNOW HOW SHE WALKS WITHOUT HER PORES LEAKING SALT-ROCKS. EXCEPT WAIT. I’M IN LEATHER PANTS, TOO. SO MAYBE SUMMER LEG SAUNAS ARE THE NEW CHERUB RUG. I’M GOING TO SWEAT AWAY TEN POUNDS JUST FROM MAKIN’ MY USUAL ROUNDS AND THEN MY CALVES WILL BE SINEWY MOUNDS AND ONE DAY I’LL RELEASE THE HOUNDS AND YOU’LL BE ALL, ‘THE SEXY? IT IS FOUND,’ AND THEN YOU’LL HEAR THE SOUND OF KRIS HUMPHRIES DOING FIFTY EXTRA PRESSES AT THE GYM WHILE HE CRIES. YES. LET IT BEGIN.”
[PHOTO: FAME/FLYNET]
