Katy Perry started a tour in the UK last night, and aside from this terrible, terrible wig (why not just go back to brown, Katy? This sits on your noggin like a follicular bird dropping), the entire affair looks like it was staged in candy-coated technicolor Wonkavision. It should be noted that I have zero idea in what order these costumes actually appeared, so let’s just roll with the unknown, beginning with pinwheels of Brachs peppermints. I assume they actually started turning at some point. I mean, isn’t that how Katy Perry got us all secretly hooked on her irritatingly catchy songs in the first place — hypnosis? How else to explain how she wore me down? Because I was fighting it and fighting it and then suddenly I woke up one day and was like, “You know what? I WILL shut up and put my money where my mouth is! That IS what I get for waking up in Vegas!” She is like a funhouse prophet. Willy Wonka would approve. So would his orange posse. Hmm, I feel a song coming on…
[Photos: WENN]
