21 photos in galleryNot long after last week’s Ringer post, in which we speculated that SMG’s clothes were kind of heinous and big because they were full of fetal secrets, we got a truly lovely e-mail from the lady herself in which she a) was totally classy and awesome; b) said we are NOT, in fact, headed for some episodes of the show where both her characters do nothing but sit behind desks and carry potted plants (as in, not prego); c) reassured us that brighter wardrobe days are ahead; and d) told us not to pull our punches, regardless. And when Kendall Hart 1.0 essentially asks us to keep being Rich Twin/Poor Twin’s Get-A-Grip friend, we feel compelled to oblige, even — nay, especially — if it means being brutally honest about what dumpy hellfire Rich Twin is wearing in the last shot of the episode.
Ergo, come with me as I take a few swings at this week’s Ringer, which ponied up ANOTHER good ending, and continued the plot hot streak that started with last week’s surprise blood stain (and BFF’s sad-sack husband/Rich Twin’s secret lover and baby-daddy staggering around his house like he was drunk on muuuuurder). It also kept up the streak of putting SMG in the same outfit for 90 percent of the hour. I wonder if she gets as bored as the Lost cast. Poor old FBI Agent Richard Alpert must be like, “Really? THIS OUTFIT AGAIN? Can’t we do an episode where I go to Bermuda for a week and wear a bunch of different exciting shorts?”
Comments (78):
I stopped reading at the part where Smidge contacted you HER DAMN SELF and TOLD YOU TO KEEP IT UP. I MAY HAVE BLACKED OUT FROM THE AWESOME.
Yeah. That basically made my day. And it didn’t even happen to me!
It was pretty great — she seems like she’s as awesome as you could ever want her to be. She totally gets that it’s all in fun and done with love.
OMG, I feel like if that were me I’d invent a time machine and tell my 8th grade self and see if I actually died
I DIED when I saw that – LOVE SMG!!!!
I know! I love love love it too! Followed by huge audible OHHHHH at first picture of Logan.
Dear lord, me too. But then I came to and started reading–and laughed EVEN HARDER as I tried to imagine the looks on SMG’s face as she read it all.
She is made of awesome.
I confess I stopped watching after the pilot for several reasons (although the sick green screening on the motorboat figured prominently), and have merely been enjoying vicariously through these Fug the Shows, but now that I know that Logan is on view? Sweet, tortured, snarky Logan? I am back ON BOARD. (Though not on that motorboat.)
Wait, what? Rich Twin is married to Ioan and she was knocking boots with Henry Sack? WTF?? Has she been at the crack pipe?
I had no idea that Jason Dohring was on this show. Now I must watch.
SMG is the best.
So… why is the FBI after Poor Twin?
Poor Twin was the witness to the murder of stripper by a Nevada mobster-type. She was in protective custody and was the sole witness who was going to testify against said mobster and put him away for good. However, Poor Twin got cold feet and fled to the Hamptons, where she met up with Rich Twin who then faked her own death. Poor Twin decided to become her sister in order to hide from both said mobster and the FBI agent trying to find her.
ah. as you do.
by which I mean ‘as we all do’. a generic “you” of as you do. but thanks for explaining – between this and the Fug Recaps I can start watching all of a sudden (can’t miss a show with SMG AND Logan can I?)
> a) was totally classy and awesome
Love.
Heather– This is some of your best work. Honestly, I don’t even know to tell you. This is so hilarious that I actually stopped laughing and just reread things multiple times, trying to cram all of it into my eyes and smiling in wonder.
This will be one of your entries that I will reread on bad days at work.
This.
I actually squawkled at “No, Juliet, he smelled the past and the past smelled like innocence.”
H, girl, you totally landed that triple lutz of awesome.
“Evil-Doer, Purveyor of Sweet Yam-Yam”, and “but WHATEVER it is, it looks like it ate a wedding dress and is desperately trying to regurgitate it. Frill poisoning: the silent killer. ” I am still laughing and cannot stop. This is why SMG wants you to continue! You are covered in AWSOMESAUCE!
Please keep it up with the FugCaps. They are awesome AND they remind me of the glory days of TWoP.
You ladies are my heroes. Just sayin’.
The shot of the cheeseburgers was my favorite part of the show too. Glad it didn’t go unnoticed!
It was just so random and unnecessary. Which makes it even more hilarious.
These are a lot of fun. Loved the part about Logan calculating the age difference and how long he’d be in jail.
Amazingness. You got an email from Buffy! Buffy!
This is, perhaps the greatest show on television, and I’m happy that someone else appreciates it as much as I do. And for the record, Juliet is 17 and Cutie teacher-face is 29 in real life… wowza, good on stepdaughter.
This is one of my favorite recaps EVER!!! OMG, knowing that SMG herself contacted you to give you her “Fugging of Ringer” blessing warms my heart! She’s AWESOME!
Last night, my mom passed by me while I was watching the show and said: “Hey, it’s Buffy?” And, I loved her for it! By the way, she looks STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL on Picture #3!
I only know Jason Dhoring from “Moonlight” and I missed his GORGEOUSNESS! How about the hidden message on Picture #4 when he’s talking to Stepdaughter? It says “Love” on the chalkboard behind him!
Kristoffer Polaha, better known to me as Baze from “Life Unexpected” is SERIOUSLY HOT, damn it!
“I promise you that in three weeks, I will be pinning my hair star on your man panties.” is the BEST LINE EVER and I cherish it!
I actually LOVED the silver skirt and the awesome black boots! They made me want to raid her closet!
GFY Heather, you are NOT old! SMG, you & I were born in 1977, we are the same age and we are rocking our early to mid 30s, girl! REPRESENT!
Sajorina, you would love him in Veronica Mars. It’s a great show in general.
Jason Dohring hasn’t aged since he played Logan. I think he might actually be a Vampire.
I also think I have watch Moonlight this weekend, I’d have been fine if you hadn’t mentioned the smelling of the past thing
Thank you so much for these, Heather. You’ve gruffudded my heart. Or something. Whatever, you know what I mean — I laughed a lot. Eye!Sex had me rolling. And, obviously, I am so jealous about the SMG email. You guys should, like, become best friends. *nods vehemently*
Can I just say that the cheeseburger shot came when I was super hungry and is solely responsible for the Great Peanut Butter Cracker Massacre of ’11?
The minute I saw the scarf in the bag to the closing shot of that robe, I became more and more excited for this post. Did. Not. Disappoint.
Also, Logan! So hot! that is all
Sarah – Me too. That scarf escaped from Susanne Pleshette or Lindsay Wagner – it smells of the past, too! And the frill wardrobe is Sue-Ann Nivens. Sideways. If you will. SMG-PRINZE is A GODDESS for contacting you – the best writers on the web. We heart you all!
This post is just made of awesome. I cannot believe you got a letter from SMG. I can believe she was wonderful and classy, and I’m thrilled that she told you not to pull any punches. We fug out of LOVE. Usually. In her case, pretty much always.
Also, yay, Logan! (And how weird for him to be the adult in a potential statutory rape storyline. Why it was just yesterday his seventeen year old self was shagging former Laker Girls.
So great that SMG totally loves the posts. I’m really rooting for this show despite some of the ridiculousess b/c it really might be good somewhere under all that fug. I hope the terrible ratings do not doom it.
Logan is truly the cherry on top though. Ranks up there as my favorite TV boyfriend, close race between him and Pacey.
It has been picked up for a full season, so hopefully the CW will let SMG work her magic for that whole run and give it some good promo.
Wow, I’ve been waiting for you guys to post this all day and you have delivered and then some! (And SMG is 10 kinds of awesome for writing in herself.)
A couple points I’ve got to discuss with similarly obsessed folks:
- when/how is Poor Twin going to fake a miscarriage? Time is definitely ticking in that department.
- speaking of Juliet’s age, even though her various teenage angst issues are helpful to the plotlines, Ioan’s character (Wikipedia tells me that Ioan himself is 38) seems too young to have a kid that old
-am very curious to learn more about how (pre) Rich Twin and Ioan first met and got together (although we did learn last week it was while he was still married to Juliet’s mom)
-AND, love all the fake-outs in the show, totally didn’t see Poor Twin implicating her old identity either, but she’d better hope Richard Alpert doesn’t get an inkpad near her or that jig might be up (unless she has another “cooking class accident”)
I completely agree with Anna…this had me guffawing (gruffud-awing?) out loud and I haven’t done that while reading a recap since the best days of TWOP years ago. Outstanding work, Heather!
Ringer is officially my guilty pleasure and can I just say I’m jealous that SMG contacted you! Can you pass a message along to her for me? Tell her that of all my teenage phases, BTVS was the one that made it to my ceiling in posters and pictures and VHS (yes, I did say VHS!!)
Having said that, one more thing “Ioan Gruffudd!!!!” Enough said!
Shooooooooooooooooooooooe porn! *sigh*
Heather, I am DYING of laughter from your commentary. so, so great. ALSO: I wonder if SMG is going to tell Ioan that you verbed his last name? WHAT IF THAT BECAME A THING? the director could be like, “Ioan, you need to gruffudd some more in this scene.”
I’m picturing it and that’d be awesome!
HAHAHA I just gruffawed over that. Nice one Sarachka
I’m not surprised SMG likes your posts. She seems awesome and, I know this sounds SOOOOO corny, but GFY is probably the only website I know of that stems from a place of love [I told you it was corny]. Internet comments usually make me hate humanity, but everyone who comments on GFY just seems so nice
I agree with SJ. I am at the moment writing my thesis about language use in Internet an GFY is pretty much the only place where one can find comments written with good taste and humour.
Hear, hear! I second your sentiment, JL. Comments display not only good taste and humor, but also proper grammar! correct spelling and punctuation! vocabulary words! I dare say that GFY’s followers are the best educated/have the highest average IQs of any other blog readers on the Interwebs. It’s a tribute to the smart, funny, and clever Heather and Jessica!
…Buffy emailed you? BUFFY EMAILED YOU? *dead*
So SMG is a fan of YOU! Awesome.
I never really had feelings one way or the other for SMG. (I never watched Buffy – wait, what are you doing with those pitchforks?) I now have a total girl crush on her. That is wicked awesome!
Also, I’ve started using “to gruffudd” as a verb in real life. People don’t understand.
And once again, I can’t let a Ringer post go by without expressing my undying love for Kristoffer Polaha. I mean, damn.
All of Buffy is on Netflix Instant, if you have it and care to watch. I never watched it when it was originally on the air, but gave it a go on Netflix and fell in love.
“My beauty will haunt you” was my favorite recap line, until…
“Frill poisoning: the silent killer.”
Oh my God. I watch RINGER for the awesome over-the-top cheese (mmm, cheeseburgers). But I count the minutes until the next RINGER recap! What to do in the two-week hiatus? Hmm. Maybe a BEST OF FUG RINGER? (Would that be FINGER?) Maybe, maybe…
Thank you SO much for these recaps. My sides still hurt from all of my muffled laughter.
It took me FOREVER to place the principal as Tara’s alkie/Jesus-freak mom from True Blood. She cleans up good!
Wow. If that is you pulling punches, I hate to see you really pissed off. I just laughed so hard the cat freaked out and I think I sprained something.
I have never taken the time to see this show and am enjoying these recaps way too much to actually see it now.
It’s NOT me pulling punches! I would never, besides which she specifically told me NOT to.
“His sack was much more interesting when it was Potentially Nefarious, rather than Sad.”
Mind if I borrow this line? It perfectly sums up my dating career. Much appreciated, ta.
Also, SMG! *squeeeeeeeeee*
Okay, I’ll admit I only read this one because Logan is in the cast now (which horrified me but now makes me laugh), but BRAVA, HEATHER. This recap is like the glory days of TWOP, when it was actually on point, unafraid to mock and totally hilarious. It was so funny it almost makes me want to watch the show.
I am also so relieved that someone else calls characters on new shows by the names of characters they used to play (which is why I cannot watch Pacey and Denethor on Fringe). Makes me feel much, much less senile. Thanks.
And how cool is it that SMG can totally take it? I have to admit I never thought she’d have a sense of humor AND intestinal fortitude. Very impressive.
SMG emailed you!!!! Two of my favourite things internet conversing! Happy days.
Really great and awesome. It makes some experience something unique. Thank you.
I read these instead of watching the show now XD partly because I have to close that night and partly because these are just that good ;3
So true about the poor Lost actors always wearing the same sweaty crusty clothes. The one who had it worst was poor Sayid. ALWAYS a black wifebeater and cargo pants. Except for that one episode where he had straight hair and a tuxedo. And then was just naked. That was possibly the best episode.
Love that she emaield you! These recaps are now my favorite thing on the site.
Picture #2: Who is Gage Golightly? How come he has the same name as Holly Golightly? A name that sounds so much like a fake…
And it’s awesome that Sarah Michelle Gellar wrote to you! Maybe she will continue reading your recaps and laughing, as we do.
PS: Logan is now a teacher? Wow, I feel so old (and I’m really not).
I think I’m going to start watching.
must add to the already stated… BUFFY EMAILED YOU?!?!?!?!?! ZOMG!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!
*dead too*
Note to self: Do not take a sip of coffee before reading “before he accidentally trips into her vagina.” Potentially messy and embarrassing.
(ASMOLATS: Almost Spit Mouthful Of Liquid At The Screen)
This may go down as one of my favorite posts ever. I can’t tell which made me laugh more, “Snug Tee of Angst” or “mischief trousers.” Bravo.
That scene of Richard Alpert and the mobster staring at each other for 5,000 years was awesome. It would not end!
SMG emailed you! WOOOOO! She is really awesome!!!! (much like your recaps!) Hilarious!
I am still in shock that SMG emailed you. So much awesomeness. I agree that she looks prego in the show and I am not sure why they hide her body in terribly caftans. She is SMG for god’s sake. Anyway, please don’t stop these. I love them.
I’m sorry, I can’t pay attention to anything else because SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR WROTE TO YOU OH MY GOD
There is an actor named Kristoffer Poloha?
It’s Kristoffer Polaha. I love him. Love him. LOVE. HIM.
Your recaps just make my day so much happier. FBI agent Anthony is a beautiful beautiful man.
Oops, I mean Alpert. Character names are so hard to remember. Except Buffy… And Logan.
SMG is the best. I love SMG. His has a awesome personality.
Nashville Boot Camp
It’s awesome that SMG emailed you and was a good sport about it! Though I’d bet half the reason is so that she can send the links to her show’s costume designers and be like, “See what needs fixing here?”
I suppose I stand alone in not being bowled over by the email.
It was nice of Gellar to do that but I am years beyond my teenage fan girl worship days.
Meanwhile, the Rich Twin/Poor Twin saga is making less and less sense.
At first, Poor Twin was all about wanting FBI Agent Richard Alpert to stop snooping around.
Now, she’s practically invited him to stay in the guest bedroom.
It makes no sense for Poor Twin to be shifting the focus onto herself.
I’m all but yawning during the Juliet part of the story.
Is this to keep the teens interested?
It seems obvious to me that this is all about a plot hatched by Sad Sack and Rich Twin to pilfer money from Ioan’s mega bucks company.
Anyone who gets in the way (Gemma, by way of Bridget) is disposable.
Although I still find it completely plausible that Gemma is still alive.
And hey, what if Poor Twin and Gemma compared notes and caught on to Rich Twin and Sad Sack’s plan?
This would then make it a “counter con”.
As I am half brain dead by the end of each episode from having to watch all the LAME
CW commercials, I may not make it to the end of this season.
One can only watch so many ads for idiotic shows over and over and over again.
“I promise you that in three weeks, I will be pinning my hair star on your man panties” is BY FAR the best pick-up line I’ve ever heard, and I plan to use it on my next date.
Thanks for the recaps. You two must miss TWOP? I think it’s great you have combined your love of recapping AND fashion into, well, this. But I don’t think I can watch until I know for sure Buffy and Logan will share scenes together, because there’s nothing I love more than a smug Logan mocking a small blonde. Come to think of it, he mocked the dude in Moonlight too. He’s just generally a mocking sort of fellow. Careers have been built on less.
I told my husband about this TWoP-throwback of a recap last night, and how I was dying laughing throughout and remembering how fun Mighty Big TV was. I especially focused on the riff on the absence of the twins, which had also been desperately frustrating to me. My husband offered this explanation: “By twins, they must have meant her boobs.” That certainly covers any questions about the whereabouts of The Twins.
soo i finally decided to check this show out (after catching glimpses of it over the past few weeks and skimming these recaps)…and ended up watching all the episodes in one night. it’s such an awesomely bad mess that it’s addictive!! this recap, btw, is the best one yet…i actually cackled a few times, especially at the 90210 reference =)
anyways, super jealous that buffy emailed you (aka happy for you!) and glad that the show will finish the season, cuz seriously, it’s too perplexing to end now…there is SO MUCH LEFT TO EXPLAIN!!