19 photos in galleryI was going to say, “I don’t know why I bother to watch these things,” but that would be a lie: I DVR them SPECIFICALLY so that we can all have a laugh at whatever hopeless shenanigans are passing for Exciting. New Year’s Eve. Entertainment. It’s like the universe wants to remind us all that the calendar may change, but fug is forever.
[Photos: Splash, my phone]
Comments (78):
You ladies should have seen the FOX New Year’s Eve show. There was a fashion show with “club wear” worn by bored-silly models. A few were okay but others…just plain silly. Right up your alleys. Oh: Happy 2013!
Yes, I was hoping they would cover that. It was……horrible.
Taylor Swift didn’t sound great, but at least you could tell she was singing live, so I give her props for that. Didn’t much care for her outfit or her awkward dance moves.
I love Call-Me-Maybe’s skirt. LOVE IT. So much that I didn’t care about the crop top, and pretended it was a flesh colored belt.
Is it just me or is Taylor Swift acquiring a look of Christine Baranski? An ersatz, poor man’s Baranski obviously; that woman is majestic.
Swift and Baranski do have some features in common, but the comparison would never have occurred to me. I think Baranski may have been born with her ineffable dignity and grace. Swift is likeable, but…
And I kind of didn’t mind the crop top on Jepsen. Usually I hate them (mainly because people wear them who JUST CAN’T), but I thought this worked all right, on her, with the beautiful skirt, though a simple tank would have been better.
I never realized how awkward of a dancer Tswift was until NYE – she just doesn’t have it (not that I do either, but I think with all the training afforded to her, I could pull out a few sexy moves)
At first I thought Laura FourEyes wrote that she loved Call-me-Risley’s skirt. It is a glorious skirt, and I am a Wolf Hall geek.
Oy. Thank you, Heather.
Yes, Carly Rae’s skirt is awesome, and would look better with a nicer non crop top.
The thought of Hammer and Psy together makes me smile, in a weird way.
Hope everyone had an outstanding NYE and a happy, healthy New Year.
Seriously, is that Christina Aguilera? Because I swear it’s Cyndi Lauper.
That was my EXACT thought. “Wow, Cyndi Lauper looks great!” Oh.
This. And for Cyndi Lauper, it isn’t bad.
Yep. Same here.
That’s what I came to say, too!
Indeed, my first thought. Who knew they were related? LOL.
Have they actually been seen in the same room together? Hmmm…
Me Too! Was just coming to post that. Uncanny. Looked good for Cyndi, less so for Christina.
Ditto to all above.
Yes! My first thought when seeing the picture was, “Aw, man, Cyndi Lauper was on and I missed it?”
I was at a concert, so thankfully I didn’t have to endure any of this. I’ve never understood the dearth of actual talent that these shows attract. As for Train, Pat Monahan seems like a lovely person, but I cannot get behind a band whose sole songwriting approach is “use a rhyming dictionary.”
YES! I cant stand Train! They rank with Nickleback in my book.
OH, PLEASE! I know bad music when I hear it and “Train” is a great band! Now, “Nickelback” is BAD, just noise… AWFUL NOISE!
Somehow I managed to catch the Carly Rae performance, I think it was before midnight. I spent the entire night waiting for what was obviously the costume Fergie had under that gold thing, cause there was no other reason to have (unneeded) corset boning showing through!!
And Jenny has now entirely too much work done
These shows are always the worst. Jenny Mcarthy is the worst. Christina’s wig is the worst.
What, no Anderson Cooper/Kathy Griffin love? They were hilarious and had a Psy walk-on in which Anderson looked very confused.
I can only watch so much!
It is well worth it.
Anderson told Psy he almost wore the same thing. I lost it.
Anderson/Kathy was the BEST! They had no idea who Hammer was! And they made fun of Swifty and talked about sexting each other. AMAZING
Jenny McCarthy is deeply gross. For a pretty lady, she sure manages to make herself totally unappealing. Even the sailor dude she made out with at midnight looked bored. That’s sad for her. But she’s gross, so I don’t pity her at all.
I don’t like Taylor Swift, however I thought she looked cute and she does get credit for singing live even if it was so-so.
The midnight makeout was SO bizarre – a quick kiss is one thing, but I didn’t get why they were just going at it like that – she’s too old for that. I mean, she has a child.
The look on the guy’s face seemed to be saying “who is this old woman trying to make out with me?”
Aren’t her 15 minutes way, way over?
True story about Jenny McCarthy: Years ago, she appeared on a morning radio show here in Atlanta and after the show they asked her to record a promo, like they do with all of their guests. She ended up on the blooper reel, which they played over and over again because she could not pronounce her own last name. “Hi! This is 99x and I’m Jenny McCartheney.” She recorded it this way about 5 times in a row before they all just finally gave up. So you know, if you can’t pronounce your own freaking name, do you really have better options than rolling around on the ground with cardboard Bieber?
That top 5 resolutions list is totally from Family Feud. Ugh, Jenny McCarthy. I didn’t watch any of the NYE shows because I knew I couldn’t stand it. However, there WAS a Doctor Who marathon, and that made my night.
And this is exactly why I opted for the CNN show (Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin). Hilarious and I didn’t have to watch any performances by people I’ve never heard of.
I am not really a Kathy Griffin person. But also, I watched these specifically to fug them — one year, it was J.Lo in the rain in a catsuit. Worth it, especially because I can FF between things.
I’m not a huge Kathy Griffin fan either, Heather, but I wouldn’t miss it.
I live in the Upper Midwest – our first NYE here for 2005, all the local stations cut away from the network coverage 2 minutes to midnight to a black screen that shows some anemic local fireworks. We couldn’t believe it the first year we moved here from the East coast.
In 2008 we stumbled across Kathy and Anderson in their first foray. He was trying to be the utterly respectable Silver Fox, and she was destroying him. You could see the fear in his eyes, it was awesome. Add in the lack of canned musical acts, and the coverage of Sushi in Key West (they did more of it the first few years) and it was highly entertaining. As the years have gone on he has has learned to roll with her, and you can tell she’s a woman who has read her contract and knows exactly how far she can go.
So DVR the other ones, but watch this live (if the kids are in bed, that is). You watch it not for Kathy Griffin, but to see Anderson Cooper break into nervous giggles time and time again.
Did I miss a “Dick Clark Tribute” somewhere in the evening? We missed part of the beginning, but I’m really sad that I didn’t see one. He hosted the damn thing for 40 years. Jenny still looks good, but I noticed that her makeout partner was like, “SNORE!” How sad.
There was no visual tribute — I had hoped for a montage and/or a vintage clip of him counting down when it was time. But Ryan talked about him a lot.
The first two hours, from 8-10 was a Dick Clark tribute.
Ah, bummer. That’s the part that is probably seen the least. :/ The party we went to didn’t start til 10:00, so we were still finishing getting ready and packing up our dishes at that time. How sad that we missed it! But at least they did it. That’s only appropriate!
So glad I went to bed at 10 p.m. after drinking half a bottle of sparkling wine.
“I just don’t need this much middle-distance-gazing in my life.” HA!
And wait, I just got used to no longer hyphenating Cee Lo, and now it’s CeeLo? Grrraarrrgghh. The reason it’s so often seen rendered inconsistently is that he keeps changing it. But it is indeed now “CeeLo” on his official site as well as Twitter and Facebook. His given name is Thomas, which I have to admit lacks ring.
These horrendous photos have made me very very glad that I skipped the countdown hos this year! Wait, I mean shows. Uh, maybe. Happy New Year, everyone!
We watched this for a while, but I could not get past Fergie-Mugging-For-The-Camera constantly. It was almost worse than Jenny McCarthy. Almost. The whole experience was painful, although the tributes to Dick Clark were lovely, and my husband and I kept having the “OMG, look how YOUNG so-in-so looks!” (Speaking of too much plastic surgery, Cher I am LOOKING AT YOU!)
I loved Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin. I have this whole imaginary relationship for the two of them going in my head, and they do not help that out when they talk about her text messages to him. It’s like “what if Will and Karen were friends?” only with more expletives.
Not to mention that Kathy Griffin was wearing a terrific jacket that I deeply covet. As do I her screen time with Anderson Cooper.
Jenny McCarthy seriously needs to stop with the plastic surgery, like yesterday…
I could only handle about 10 minutes of the DCRE show…and even that was interspersed with repeats of House Hunters!!!
I at first glance thought the picture of Christina A. was Cyndi Lauper! Not good X-tina, not good at all….
I thought Psy’s sunglasses were actually pretty chic.
And I am kinda coveting his furry vest. )
Totally agree on Jenny McCarthy…she makes it unwatchable.
And same thing about the girl on The Voice whatever her name is…I fast forward through her interviews…just terrible!
You are right on as always!
I was so hoping that Dick Clark would turn out to have pretaped messages to use from now until 2099.
They had a whole show of Dick Clark tribute before the *actual* NYE countdown show. It was sweet – although it was more about American Bandstand than his gig as supreme ruler of New Year’s Eve. Good clips of some old performances.
I feel like I must be missing something with Kathy and Anderson – I tried to watch that one for a bit, but it was SO awkward and Kathy Griffin just annoys me… did not think it was funny at all. I thought all the new year’s shows were pretty bad, although I must say that the bright moment for me was Psy and Hammer…I just thought that was a hilarious and random match-up.
Taylor Swift can not sing well live. I think she must get a lot of help in post-studio production, but her music is catchy. And Carly Rae Jepsen did perform live…she was fine, I thought the skirt was very pretty, but she definitely had a little trouble getting around the stage with it and her heels.
Those are my thoughts. Thanks for letting me share and a very happy 2013 to Fug Nation!
THANK YOU for the MC Hammer slide. We got home a little before midnight so I could only see this crazy rapper running around the stage, and we had no idea who he was! (although my second grade self who LOVED Don’t Touch This is appalled).
I will never watch Jenny McCarthy in anything because of her ignorant and dangerous campaign against childhood vaccination. However I accidentally saw her for a few minutes because her new face rendered her unrecognizable, and changed the channel when they identified her.
Same. Dangerous loudmouth, and I hated her before she had a child. I have low tolerance in general for people who work at being outrageous, coupled with her “I’m an ex-Playboy whatever AND I’m funny.” Except you’re not. Grrrr.
You are so right on, my feelings exactly.
This is only slightly offset, for me, by the fact that the only TV gig worse than pleasing the geriatric TV crowd staying home on New Years Eve is getting up the next morning and narrating the Rose Parade.
Is Taylor Swift wearing the dreaded ‘bootaloons’? It’s probably just my eyes but I can’t tell where her leather shoes/boots end and where her leather pants begin?
Did Jenny McCarthy scalp Mickey Mouse?! What the hell is she wearing on her head. Ugh, she’s insufferable.
I thought Fergie was dressed as Dot Matrix from Spaceballs. Then I remembered it wasn’t Halloween, and now I’m just confused.
My goodness, we are a ridiculous species. That said, Taylor Swift looked great.
I think Carly Rae went on between 9:30-9:45 – love the skirt, HATE the crop top. But bless her, she sang her song like she hadn’t been singing it on repeat for the last year. Did you catch Fergie before her Jeannie top knot? She actually looked clean and pretty. I had a hard time recognizing her…
I will never watch anyone else on NYE if Anderson and Kathy are on. They are so awkwardly funny. I love Kathy. She and Anderson are a perfect pair. She says crazy stuff and he shakes his head and looks embarrassed! Psy and Hammer dropping in on them was so funny- as was her admitting that she wasn’t sure it was really Hammer and asking if that made her racist.
Aw, no love for Psy? He’s just so transcendently, unashamedly weird.
I don’t often comment but wanted to let @Julia know that I’m so on board with her. Anderson and Kathy were the best, so so funny and poor A.C. looking awkward but being such a good sport. Kathy is crude and rude but there is no one faster or funnier. We had a girls’ night and we laughed so hard we cried. When flipping to the other shows they seemed so forced and dull. Cheers to CNN for getting the stick out of their a#@ once a year!!
My husband I were saying that as smart as AC is, Kathy Griffin is so much faster than he is. He’s always at least one step behind and she takes advantage of it relentlessly. Which is why that show is incredibly fun.
I somehow caught the Carly Rae Jepsen performance. She looked great, but I was sure she was lip-syncing. Also, no one’s mentioned that Bieber was on stage with her? He was just up there “dancing” and hamming it up during “Call Me Maybe.” It was … strange.
I swear I thought Christina was Roseanne Barr….no Joke!
Carson is an awesome host. Didn’t see his NYE show but it sounds like a poor use of his professionalism. Seaccrest is ok, but Jenny McCarthy was repulsive.
carly rae performed at 9:38, so it was before the telecast!
Talk about random: for some reason this morning I was thinking to myself; what happened to MC Hammer. And then just hours later I see this post.
And wretched is SUCH a good word. Too seldom used. Many thanks for its appearance here.
Carson is actually pretty great on The Voice. He seems so genuinely pleased by the performances and by talking with the contestants. And you’re absolutely right: Milian is a HUGE problem. Just dreadful.
I have never once watched one of Christina Milian’s segments on The Voice. I just can not deal with all that “tell us what you think America” hash tag, social media correspondent bullcrap all these shows trot out now. I could not care less.
However, agree that Carson is tolerable and deserves better than what NBC apparently subjected him to.
Also, Kathy and Anderson all the way.
And the no whammy’s topknot joke made me snort laugh. For I am old.
LOL, going for blood you are!
As a K-pop fan, I must say that Cee Lo is actually a lovely parallel for Psy. Not exact but he’s just as joyous & slightly spastic. He’s just a nice guy with a family at home that happened to hit pay dirt. the video was usual Psy so the fact that it caught on to the level it did really fascinates me. Go Psy go!
Is Fergie preggie? Yes, homegirl is tiny, HOWEVER, the boning in her dress seemed to really be straining near her lower torso.
the “dunkelman” comment just murdered me, hahahaha! I’ve only ever seen the first season of American Idol and there are probably 10 people left in America who are going to get a Dunkelman reference. I love it so much!
OMG, Fergie looked AWFUL! Jenny McCarthy acted AWFULLY… I don’t dislike her, but she was the worst! And, when Taylor Swift was singing, my brother said to me “What is she doing? That isn’t HER! She’s supposed to be wearing a cute dress, play the guitar and sing country music! She’s NOT a Rockstar and is not doing a very good job trying to be one! It’s just NOT CONVINCING!” I like Swifty and thought she looked pretty, but I agree with my bro! I’m soooooooooo sorry I missed Anderson & Kathy!
I am ashamed to admit this but I definitely flipped over to MTV where Snooki and JWoww were hosting. Wow. That’s all I have to say.
Terribly intriguing information about the bastille fort. I would have to see it more than once.
I think you two should do real-time voice-over commentary for this while it’s airing.