Oh my god, you guys. This outfit. This outfit of Melody Thornton’s. It’s so…It’s all…it’s…..
Listen, I can’t even show it to you face-forward until after the jump because of the Not Safe For Workitude of the whole thing. BEHOLD:
….
……….
!!!!!!
So many thoughts. On one hand, you wonder if she even knew this was sheer. On the other, she must have because guess what? If that is a dress which APPEARS opaque without the assistance of flashbulbs, it is also a dress with which you can easily wear a bra . And most women put on a bra before going to a party. I mean, I guess it depends on the party, but this is an Elle party, and Elle is a classy joint. Elle is not a “hey, check out my nips!” kind of establishment. It was not a party at Nude Nude Nudes, down by the airport (my favorite strip club in Los Angeles. I had never been inside, and they tore it down to make a PARKING LOT — they paved paradise, you guys — but I always appreciated how direct the name was. When the Pope visited LA like a hundred years ago, so as not to offend him on his commute, they changed the sign to read “Nudge Nudge Nudge,” which is ALSO a kind of good name for a strip club). Despite the fact that she LOOKS Nude Nude Nude, and I’m sure when everyone else at the party saw this, they nudge nudge nudged each other.
On the other hand, I guess her abs are enviably flat. But — and I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M ABOUT TO WRITE THIS — that, honey, is what a crop top is for.
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Comments (108):
Going commando? I’m terrified to look at the zoomed-in picture to confirm it, but it sure looks that way. Classy. Real classy.
yes… she is commando
Thank goodness for that flap of lace in the front. I’ve seen enough celebrity vag to last a lifetime.
it is LACE! she had to know it was sheer.
Seriously. There is nothing about that “dress” that indicates anything other than “I AM SHEER! YOU NEED UNDERGARMENTS TO WEAR ME OUT OF THE HOUSE!” And now I’m getting capsy.
Yeah, there’s no way she didn’t know. It’s not a dress where you’re like “Hmm, is that nipple?”. It is. It’s also underboob, sideboob, ab contours and belly button.
Well, at least the Pope wasn’t expected at the Elle party. She would have needed to bring some nice big G’s to cover her (over)exposed chest.
Yeah, even Nicki was decent enough to cover up for the Pope with a giant evil cape at The Grammys!
Did she decide that it was too frumpy without being see through? I mean, on it’s own it’d be a fug based on the yawn factor…… but now it’s just a hot mess.
I suppose hot mess trumps yawn when the bulbs are flashing.
Great comment! I bet that is what she was thinking too. We should let her know that there are other dresses in the world that are neither frumpy nor x-rated! (did I mean x-ray?)
Well at least she has the tits to pull it off. My tits are way to saggy to go sans bra/foundation garment.
What does the back look like? Can you see butt-crack?
Since you asked…. http://i.huffpost.com/gen/566219/thumbs/o-MELODY-THORNTON-NIPPLES-570.jpg?4
Lol the name on that link, hahaha.
Also: WELL AT LEAST IT’S SO DISTRACTING WE DON’T NOTICE THE HORRIBLE MAKE-UP.
The best part about that is that the file name is all-caps.
If Arianna reads GFY, I imagine that would have been her exact reaction to this.
Not as bad as I imagined. Thanks!
Caption: Hello, my name is Melody Thornton. You probably have no idea who I am, so I’m going commando AND without a bra so that everyone will be talking about me after this event. If I have to show my nips, and not wear anything to get attention, and perhaps a job, so be it.
Truth. I had no idea who this is. The only Pussycat Doll whose name I know is Nicole Scherzinger (sp?) – is the group even still together? So I guess this chick figures, well, if I have to leave out of the house naked, so be it. I will actually sort of respect her (only sort of, because she still went to a party topless) if she’s like, “Well, yeah, I did it to get attention,” like Lil’ Kim and her blue pasty, rather than pulling an “OMG the flash from the cameras did this! I am so embarrassed!” Because: bullshit.
Cue Karate Kid music: “You’re the BREAST! Around! Nothing’s ever keep you down!”
HAhahaaaaahahaha oh my.
Thank goodness for the dirty dishwater colored ruffle or I think we would be getting the full monty!
I can’t believe the new fug madness year has just started and we already have a serious contender.
I know!! This is a contender, for certain!
Well…she has nice boobs. I’ll leave it at that.
Black Lea Michele
That was my first thought after looking at the first picture.
Ugh. That “dress” is worse than Fifty Shades of Grey.
At least you have many thoughts. I have none. Or just: Erin Watson sure sounds classynow right?
…!!!!!!!!……????!!!….
…!..
…?.
.
Are you even allowed to wear that out of the house? Can’t you be arrested for wearing something like that?
right?! I think there is a public nudity law. ?? I mean, I guess i have seen equal or worse walking around walmart.
That God for pelvic curtains.
Amen sister.
I clicked on the link from FB, so there was no “jump” and my eyes were assaulted with nipple. Um, WTF is she thinking? If you are someone that is in the public eye AT ALL you are aware of how light bulb flashes effect clothing. That being said, SHE HAD TO HAVE KNOWN THIS WAS SHEER!!! (See Minutiae, I’m getting capsey too. This dress just brings it out.)
Now on the the hair and makeup. Can I have heavy-handed concealer under her eyes for 500 Alex? And what, may I ask, is up with the skunk hair? Was her stylist like “let’s Pepé Le Pew this bitch UP!!!!” ?????
Is it just me, or does she look like when you were a kid and you pulled the head off of one Barbie doll and put it on the body of a different Barbie doll, so that the head and the body don’t quite match?
I was thinking something was off….and that totally is the feeling!!! I think it’s the angle of the camera….but you’re right, that is SO the look.
It’s funny, people are all “Barbie oppresses little girls with her impossible body”, not realizing that Barbie is but a helpless pawn in little girls’ sick mutilation and animal husbandry experiments (or was animal husbandry just me?).
My barbies had rather torrid affairs with a variety of stuffed animals, GI Joes, and Star Wars figurines. They were such sluts. My Malibu barbie was also subject to a rather abrupt sex change when I decided I needed a “Ben” to complete a love triangle.
No; I’ve spent at least a minute so far staring at that picture and wondering where her actual body went.
I was thinking just the same. Her head-proportions is so much more distracting than the missing undergarments.
Wha… huh… umm…
Words fail me.
Except: considering how low that thankfully-vag-covering ruffle starts in the back, I’m afraid a shot of this dress from the back would reveal her entire derriere. Now I live in fear of ever seeing that shot. If I’d been at that party, I would’ve ended up disinfecting every chair before sitting down for fear that her naked-except-for-some-lace ass would’ve been on it at some point. I would’ve looked like Niles Crane.
It does. There’s a link upthread of a back view. And she has a great ass, but IT IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
well, she just made it EVERYONE’s business!
See why I liked Frida’s dress? She managed to cover herself without scaring children and small animals. As far as this dress, um, I, well, okay, I–no I got nothing. She looks good naked? Just maybe not in public.
Pole Dancing With the Stars
( this is what happens when Claire is home, sick)
She must have had a good wax,too, because you can see her lady garden has been mowed.
Ha! Lady Garden
This is probably the worst thing I’ve ever seen on this website. And it’s not even just the nakedness of it all, though I feel like unless you’re going to a swinger’s ball in a Skinemax movie, you should NEVER wear something like this. Not even in private… it’s just tacky. But the styling is all horrible too. The color is just wrong for her skin tone, it makes her look like she just showed up naked but the camera crew did a shoddy job of blurring her out. The hair just isn’t good on her, that necklace feels out of place, that lipstick makes her look dead… seriously if I was to show up somewhere wearing nothing but a mosquito net I would make sure everything else was ON POINT.
Huh. You missed Wasson, didn’t you. http://gofugyourself.com/golden-globes-fug-wtf-fug-fug-wtf-carpet-erin-wasson-01-2012
Not to mention Adrienne Bailon.
http://gofugyourself.com/the-cheetah-fugs-2-03-2012
In case you were wondering: Melody here isn’t even the nudest chick from a mid-’00s girl group named after felines this Fug Madness eligibility period.
In case you were also wondering: I never thought I’d ever have reason to type out the previous sentence.
Finally, just…you know…in case you were wondering, I am going to link this in every post because THESE WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN.
Hahaha YES I remember that one. The only reason I say this one is uglier is because at least the Cheetah Girl’s vagina napkin was styled better. If one can say that. XD
I don’t even know who Melody….(wait let me scroll back to the post)…Thornton is. Which explains her cry for attention with this pathetic publicity stunt. I’m sure she’s now a screen saver on many a 16 year-old boy’s computer screen. I’m pretty sure that’s what she’s aiming for.
I suspect you’re absolutely right. To which I say: she’s gotten exactly what she deserves.
can we also discuss the horrors of her hair and make-up situation…that is BAD
Your move Erin Wasson
Isn’t this against the law or something? Public indecency?
Tacky.
I just dont get it…why get dressed at all???
I was just about to write the same … why bother … just walk outside with nothing and save the cost of the dress and subsequent dry-cleaning!
This reminds me of a wedding I attended in Santa Cruz. where one gal wore a pale green transparent knee-length dress w/black bra & thong. It was just so jarring it was hard to look away. This is the same thing – not pretty, not sexy, just an embarrassing plea for attention.
that’s when the bride’s mother should step up and say “Honey, go home.”
Haha, that sounds about right for Santa Cruz!
Ha! I lived in SC for awhile. Loved it but that’s totally a SC wedding. They probably had pot baked into the wedding cake, too.
Her nipples must have been really chafed by the end of the evening. This is the kind of dress that should come with a jar of that organic nipple balm I used when I was breast feeding.
Teat dip?
Cancel fug madness for next year. We have a winner. Good God.
Seriously, when your dress, skin tone and all your makeup (including nails) appear to be the same colour, and the only non-matchy thing is your godawful skunk hair, I think about a million things went wrong even before the sheerness became an issue. Maybe she’s trying to distract us from the rest of the awfulness with the nudity?
That strategy is not working, though.
maybe it’s trompe l’oeil
that would actually make it better. because that would be HILARIOUS!
Ha ha, brilliant.
I agree with everyone commenting on the makeup. When your makeup makes you appear to be sporting blackface, and you actually *are* black, something has gone very, very wrong.
Seriously, her skintone just looks…off. And since I’m pretty sure that’s actually her natural color, there must have been a serious, serious makeup malfunction.
….I’m ignoring the ‘dress’, tyvm
WHY EVEN PUT CLOTHES ON AT ALL!? And I’d like to know how much this catastrophe cost. Probably could have paid my rent for two months. Oh, see, now I’m just pissed!
haha! I love Sara B. !
On the one hand, this outfit is an atrocity from which my eyes may never recover.
On the other hand…. it resulted in this post, which provided some hearty laughter on a rainy afternoon that REALLY needed it. So, thanks Jessica!
OMG, SHE’S NAKED! She’s all “I see your side-boobs, under-boobs & vagina-flashings, Gaga, Lindsay, Momsen, Adrienne, Paris, Britney, Katy, Rihanna, et al. and I’m going all in!!! Into the horrified faces of unsuspecting decent people because I am what you are, FAME WHORES, but I’m desperate to get to your level!” Ew & FUG!!!!!!!!!!!
At least when Scarlet O’Hara wore the curtains to a party, she wore the velvet ones. This poor child grabbed the sheers. Even it wasn’t so naked it would still be fug.
Also, I’m not entirely sure I want to live in a world where the epic Vag-Sling dress is the more modest choice.
…well, the dress was more modest.
My opinion is that this outfit as a whole is more modest – say what you will about Melody Wassoff, but at least she’s not wearing black pumps with the word “sex” bedazzled across the toes.
Tacky.
SO MUCH AUDIBLE GASP
And just to add rosettes to the icing on this fug cake, she also appears to be wearing some sort of spears on her fingertips. They look like bears’ claws.
It’s kind of impressive, in an awful way, how every single thing is so very, very wrong here. She didn’t miss one detail. Erin Wasson, move over.
She looks shockingly like Paris Hilton in that first pic. The blank-eyed, wide-mouthed LOOK AT ME face.
She has to be soooo desperate for attention. I guess many women need attention so badly that they have to show it ALL or they won’t be getting enough of it. Rediculious.
They tore down Nude Nude Nudes? That’s how I could tell I was home. I guess you can’t go home again…
Ah, thanks for the memories of the Nude Nude Nudes sign outside LAX!! There was also one that said “Wall to Wall Nudes,” which used to give me the most hilarious mental images. I haven’t thought about those signs since I left southern California 20 years ago, wow.
When I looked at the first picture, I said “My GOD! What happened to her face?!” It looks like bad plastic surgery on a desperate drag queen. Then I clicked through and was lost for words. Perhaps she’s trying to prove she’s not actually a man?
I’m getting DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION IN ALL CAPS from the cat piss colored skunk patch down.
I think the scariest thing is the hair. She looks at least 20 yrs too old.
The tiered skirt part looks like a horrific junior bridesmaid dress that I wore in 1986, except that was a hideous rosy mauve.
Otherwise, desperate.
Melody, dear, this is no way to go to a job interview. You have nothing left to negotiate with.
This is disgusting. Really, I’d be okay with it if she was arrested for wearing this.
If this is what ‘money can buy’ then I’ll stick with my high-street brands, thank you..
What is it with all the half/full naked celebrities walking around outside today? Seriously, I feel like I’m 97 years old writing that (I’m only 34 actually), but when did it become okay to walk around with your boobs out?
I can’t even imagine being someplace with someone dressed like her – where do you look? Or I suppose you’re meant to look at them? Why would you assume I want to see them? Ooofff – just put them away missy….
nudes Nudes NUDES is gone? It’s even sadder that I can’t adjust the font size to do the visual crescendo of the name justice.
GAH!!! It makes it look like her skin is melting off!
Yeow. I’m saddened for what she’s doing for Melodies everywhere.
It’s the Y. It does things to them.
Hahaha!!! I love it! “it’s the Y”
There are laws against that where I come from.
The sad thing is this wannabe tigress (the stripe in the hair, the claws, the pout) thinks this is what you wear to be sexy. Instead she looks strangely stunted with a head looking too big for her body – apart from everything else that we don’t really wish to see, of course. GAH!!
She knew, she totally knew! I gasped aloud when the photo popped up and went straight to twitter for a stalk of her profile. She posted a photo before she went. Nipples all over the place! …then I saw she had retweeted a new music video of hers. That explains everything.
Made the mistake of clicking the link to the rear view (wishful thinking for more coverage?). Two words: Butt. Crack. Which oddly disturbs me far more than the front view. I feel dirty.
Fame-Whore Chic (Fame-Whore Cheap?)
I don’t know or care who this is, but she and all the other desperate wannabes need to put their junk away NOW.
Also, her shoes are fug.
Well, the scary thing is that the hair almost distracts me more than the mams (which are nicely proportioned, I’ll give you).
One thing is she can kiss a call from Hugh Hefner and a large check from Playboy in the future. Melanie….You just GAVE it away there!
Oh, and thanks for trimming the hedge, I think I can just make it out under the lace curtains!
OH, sorry Melody is it….see even that didn’t get me to remember who it was, sorry!
What’s the point of the “dress”? Just go nude nude nude and get it over with. At least you’ll be true to your nature and not “selling out” with that Christmas-at-Grandma’s Tablecloth
Again, no-no-no. She’s too thin and maybe she should just take the dress off and be done with it.
The extreme hair and makeup age her by a decade or more, which is odd considering the impact of the dress.
thats a night gown and she knows it
Damn….I screamed on the scrolldown like it was Halloween on that one! You got me. Things like that should have a warning attached.
Once the Ick wore off I found more issues….from the neck up is another kind of fug. That lipstick, the streak in the hair, the tight skin of the face. Everything that plagues my styling dreams!
Yes, GFY girls, you know and I know she knew the dress iwas VERY sheer and that her n.pples were showing… Which other way she has of getting attention???? She’s average looking, she has no voice, no celeb boyfriend… Come on, you’re better than this!!!
Uhm, no, she is not “better”, she is exactly this, sorry to see and say! And actually, the horrific nature of the dress is stunningly and inexplicably overshadowed by the complete and utter awfulness of her hair and make up. You have to be really badly done, for the hair & face to distract from the fact that your kind of puke/flesh colored dress is completely (but not flatteringly) sheer. Wow, what a combo. It’s all so fabulously, once in a lifetime wrong (except that she probably has a lifetime of this in store…). Maybe there was no mirror in her hotel suite when she got ready. Oh, what? She dressed like this from her house? NOOO!!! Say it is her glam squads fault, and not her own, I beg you! (never mind.)
No way! LOL.
Just goes to show you that the less actual talent you have, the more desperate you become to shock with your outfits. Look at Gaga. I’m tired of looking at all these trashy people parading as talented performers.