This dress may be my worst nightmare since that time I dreamed Tori Spelling was president.
Although that dream ended up sort of entertaining — she hired Shannen Doherty to be her Secretary of Defense, and frankly, what with how I think all politicians are might be secretly (or openly) insane these days, Tori Spelling might actually be a breath of fresh air. And then we can have Dean McDermott, the First Husband, popping by Nate Berkus’s show and Dr. Oz and whatnot explaining all about his vegetable garden and how much he values colon health. It’s a bad sign for this dress that I can turn President Spelling into a fun idea, but I can’t turn it into anything I like. Every adjective that runs through my head has a scatalogical bent. It’s like I’m looking through a kaleidoscope trained inside somebody’s large intestine, and found a tiny race of waste-based life forms who are throwing a key party.
Can it get worse? Well, she did turn around…
That’s either her colon alien overlord, or Siri.
[Photos: Getty, WENN]
Comments (96):
I don’t know what to say, this is gonna give be nightmares tonight.
I can’t stare at it directly. Her boobs look like a fly’s bulging eyes looking straight at me…
And the unfortunate color that goes down her…. ew…… it looked like something else at first, but with the eyes now it resembles some sort of alien tongue…
Very disturbing indeed. I won’t even think about the back.
This dress is horrible beyond words. HOWEVER, how fun would it be to have Siri installed in the back of your outfit? “Siri, does my rear look big in this?” “Siri, where is the nearest location for double-sided tape?” “Siri, direct me to the open bar.”
OMG, this dress actually made me laugh out loud. And never mind that she’s WEARING that thing – who the hell DESIGNED it?
Whomever is responsible must be lobotomized immediately for the good of the Western world.
Yeah that was my thought. I mean, the Arquettes seem to be kind of out there, so wearing this dress is kind of within their collective wheelhouse.
But what designer EVER thought this was a good idea?
was this a salute to Jean-Paul Gaultier? The event I mean.
I found it, it’s vintage Jean Paul Gaultier, which explains everything and yet not. Like why she chose to wear it.
Funny, the back kinda resembles an Alex Grey print. If TOOL ever needed a backup dancer, they’d know where to look.
lol Perfect comment is perfect.
Did Jean Paul Gaultier hate all women?
“If Tool ever needed a back up dancer.” Bwahahahahaha!
The black and red strip running from her crotch in the front and her butt crack in the back is astounding. I am sitting here slack-jawed staring at this and my brain can’t even fully process what I’m seeing. And if the dress weren’t horrifying enough, just look at how her toes are squeezing out of those heinous open-toed booties. it is like the rancid cherry on top of a sh*t sundae.
“it is like the rancid cherry on top of a sh*t sundae.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
I am ignoring this dress and just came in to say that President Tori and First Gentleman Dean sound like a fine idea to me.
This is out of control terrible. I don’t understand.
speechless …
Aaauughhh! My eyes!!!
I just… I mean… why? What? I guess it’s supposed to be the illusion of a pantsuit? But why would you… because… what? WHAT?!? The back part makes her butt look like it’s a good 8 inches below where the designer expected it to be. And cosign on the weird bugeye boobs. And… back to ellipses I guess.
The longer I look at it, the more I think this is both a bad dress AND several sizes too small. You guys, I’m pretty sure this intended to be floor length. That’s how far off the sizing is.
The good: it’s 100% event-appropriate, the darker hair suits her really well, her body looks amazing (and not just given her age), and I perpetually envy her ability to wear yellow. The bad: prints that highlight sex organs and/or orifices will never not strike me as offensively vulgar, even when couched in a modern art framework; open-toe booties make me cringe, and the color of these doesn’t help the dress; the length of this dress is so awkward — I feel like it either needs to be shorter or floor-length. However, this outfit is 100% successful in getting people’s attention, so that’s a win.
The hell????
gotta keep ‘em seperated
that looks to me like her feminine protection failed. epic-ly
I christen this dress “Period Nightmare.”
Not trying to be gross here, but this dress looks like an homage to the world’s longest pubes.
And those words, put all together in one sentence, can never mean anything good.
My apologies to Jessica and Heather for possibly being out of bounds here………
And Victor Vasarely does a 360 in his grave… I vote the rear view as even more awful than the front, and the front includes some nasty-looking spats over bare feet.
I actually just said “Jesus Christ” out loud and he appeared behind me, looked at this post and said “Sweet ME!”
At first I thought it split into pants, like a really ugly olympic swimsuit, but “at least” that’s just a printed stripe. The one on the back however has such a “wang up the butt” vibe (should not even mention what the black spot at the tip of it looks like), I didn’t even notice the face for a good 10 seconds.
Girl, are your retinas okay? See a doctor, please. But not in this outfit.
Christ Jesus! I just pushed away from my desk with both hands covering my mouth. I need to unsee this.
Does anyone remember the movie “The Lawnmower Man?” This dress reminds me very much of it. And it was kind of a scary movie. EEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!
I honestly don’t think this could be uglier.
On a positive note, she’s in amazing shape.
But she LOOKS awful. And you’re right it really couldn’t be uglier (and if it could I do NOT want to know.)
Weird how she’s completely covered and yet I feel like I am seeing too much of everything including her toes!
So I keep looking at this dress and I just realized that Herve Leger is actually pretty damn smart.
Sure his bandage dresses are skintight and sometimes a little plain, but there is obviously a reason he does them in single colors or broad color blocks.
Also, I wonder if this dress – like the purple bandeau dress Sandra Bullock wore in Miss Congeniality – fits in the palm of Rosanna Arquette’s hand when she removes it. Enviable figure for certain, but my god, sometimes you should just go up a damn size or three.
I have no words …
omg first glance I thought this was Steven Tyler hahahahaha
The poor dear should never have left the house without her Depends.
The dress is insane, but it made me laugh, so I appreciate that
I remember back in the day when certain videos would have disclaimer/warnings prior to showing warning those with Epilepsy against watching said video. This dress should have that warning. Way too busy. On the plus side, her hair looks very nice that color!
SO TRUE! This should have had a disclaimer before viewing!!!!
This looks like the reflection of someone in one of those funhouse mirrors that distort everything.
The dress is horrible, but her body is smokin hot. But the back is more tragic than the front because it manages to make her rear look like it’s too low.
Eeewww. It’s way too small. Look at the wrinkles around the waist. And it’s never a good idea to make people think you’ve got skidmarks showing.
I like the colours together, just not when they are put together in such a way that makes you look like a giant lizard’s vagina.
At least a giant lizard would explain what happened to her shoes.
I love the way the open toes complete the missing nipples.
And thanks for the link to siri. Learn something new every day.
lol!
Well, SOMEBODY’S gearing up for Fug Madness!
Clearly it’s a Halloween costume. She went as “Incontinent Doppler Effect”.
How exactly did it happen that this was ever even made?
Two words: skid marks.
GAH!!
Looks like an anatomically inappropriate Lego.
could not have said it better than this, Ellie.
thx GFY for this enormously gratifying stress-reliever!
(wait, but it’s also stress-inducing! now i’m so confused…)
It’s like I said to my dog one day as we were leaving the pasture “Tugboat, you ain’t getting back in my truck with that turd in your mouth”. Someone should’ve been there for Ms. Arquette is alls I’m saying.
Seriously? No one bothered to tell her she looks like she looks like she just got a MAJOR period and didn’t notice until the whole dress was ruined??? Does no one care about this woman?
That’s what I thought: The poor thing has no one who would throw themselves in front of the door and prevent her going out!
In the future that show “V” imagined for us, this is the can’t-we-all-just-get-along eveningwear for people who are in love with their reptilian overlords.
Thankfully, we don’t live there. FUG.
Her breasts are scaring me. Or scarring me. Possibly both.
I think this is the worst garment I’ve ever seen – worse even than anything Katie Price (Jordan) has ever worn, and that’s saying something. When I first saw it, I thought the black and red splodge by her bum was brown (and wondered for a microsecond if it was something more, um, scatalogical). It shows how transfixingly awful the dress is that I didn’t even notice those hideous shoes. Oh, and now that I look at this again, it makes her boobs look like poached eggs, and the side splodges look like ginormous pit stains. I’m trying to imagine the deranged mind that would come up with this abomination, and it’s just too hideous. I’d love to know Rosanna Arquette’s thought process though when deciding to wear this!
all I have to say is:
LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, YOUR FUG MADDNESS 2012 WINNER
You called it, yeahandalso, and I am SO BUMMED that Fug Madness is already over and it’s only November. Can you imagine what it would take to beat this? The mind boggles.
This is probably the worst dress ever made. It’s so unrelentingly ugly.
I’ve been coming back to this post ever since this morning, each time thinking that I would have something witty and scathing to say. But every time I look at it I draw a blank. It’s as if the hideousness of this outfit is sucking every articulate thought from my brain.
Words. Fail.
I never thought a simple dress could cause such a visceral reaction. I almost flipped my chair over backwards. Yikes.
http://www.theblossomshed.blogspot.com
At first I thought she was wearing a jump suit for some scifi movie. I suddenly pictured her wearing a matching tight cap and crawling along the walls of some Tron-like world. After I realized it was a dress, the image only got funnier.
I need to go out on a limb and say that I originally thought this was a scroll-down fug. I wasn’t keen on the giant yellow nipples, but I was thinking at first that this was an interesting dress and might look good on someone with my breast size (read: flat)–I mean, are those polka dots bigger because they were designed bigger at the chest, or is this dress so stretchy that the dots morphed into inflated balloons?–and then I got to the long and hideous blood stain and my soul whipped out a towel, wrapped Rosanna in it, and whisked her off behind the backdrop. Good Lord! And the shoes! And the pit stains! And the alien! And more blood! Call 911!
Ach du lieber. Arquette is starting to merge with Trudie Styler in my mind.
Arquette is also one of those old girls (Daryl Hanna, Courtney Love) who is upset because she is no longer the ripe dewy piece she once was. Get over it, Rosanna – it happens to all of us. At least Toto and Peter Gabriel wrote songs about your erstwhile ripeness, dewy-ness and piece-iness. Be happy about that, rest on your laurels and stop wearing ridiculous, hideous dresses for attention.
That dress could win Fug Madness all by itself. There may need to be a new category: ugliest dress of the year.
Agree! A Fug tournament not for people but for outfits!
I think this deserves an automatic bye in the first round of Fug Madness.
Dude, who knowingly wears a dress with a poop stain out of the house? This dress is FAIL, Ms. Arquette.
Remember when Al Gore invented the internet? This is like Steven Tyler trying to invent the Matrix.
It was ugly when I thought it was a jumpsuit, but that morphed into hideous when I realized it was a dress. Those shoes are also really terrible. It looks like her feet got cold and all she had available to warm up was a pair of legwarmers.
As far as siri goes, I misread that as SURI (as in Cruise) and started cracking up, thinking of the sketch they did last year on the Onion News Network.
I didn’t see siri on the back and thought it was Max Headroom.
Awful in presentation but worse in that its shows what goes on in her mind- that she thinks she looks good. Grow old gracefully, please…
She used to dress in broomstick skirts and bare feet, so I see this lycra green space colonialist uniform primarily as a logical extrapolation. Rosanna, yeah. She will never ever have to compromise.
This particular Arquette is 10 yrs my senior and, with the exception of her plasticene lip injections, ages precisely like my mom (All I wanna do is wake up in the morning and think about those sunken dark holes where your blue eyes used to be, Rosanna yeah.); plus, since I am too lazy to verify this with Wikipedia, I imagine a full, rich life for her of dating musicians, mastering arcane yoga postures, and dropping tabs of acid in the the No Cal coast salal and cyprus wild, so for some inexplicable reason that buys her a free hall pass for life from me, or until such time as I meet her and am forced to revoke it.
Last night, out of sheer late-nite work avoidance, I did go to that cultural lodestone “Ask Men” to check out how RArquette exists beyond my understandably-truncated imagination of her existence, and it slowly dawned on me that Arquette has done a lot of work, and moreover, she had the gumption to make “Finding Deborah Winger,” which I do not recall as great, but at least it pointed in the general direction of relevant commentary about gender and Hollywood.
Did you read/listen to the part in Tina Fey’s “Bossypants” where she says “crazy” is defined in Hollywood as when a woman keeps on talking even when no one wants to f*ck her? An icky-true fact of how we (at our worst) relate to people in our society.
So now I regret all my flippancy here, and I’m sorry I said that thing about RArquette’s eyes. No one with a face that nice should get surgery to change their face. Basically, I originally meant to give her credit for really taking the bull by the horns in her “dewey” youth; but that ought to mean I should show respect for where she is now (until substantial evidence demonstrates otherwise– and a goofy fashion house vintage dress is not substantial). Je regret.
None of us would wear this dress; but I like dots and yellow, and I’m relieved by the quirkiness in the world, even when some of it is off.
I don’t believe she could turn one more fug-trick with this costume. ew ew EW!
It looks like an alternate version of that scene in Weird Science, when they were building Kelly LeBrock, and at the exact moment they were maxing our her boobs, she became bilaterally incontinent. NOT SEXY.
She looks like a menstruating alien. And, I think I have a migraine coming on.
Usually it takes a year of hard work to win fug madness, but I think Ms Arquette here may be the first person EVER to garner the gold with one bold, breath-taking, fug.
In honor of the silly season:
Ms. Arquette, we’ve seen Amber Rose, and you, ma’am, are no Amber Rose.
I’m sure there are plenty of examples to prove me wrong, but somehow this FEELS like the worst thing I’ve ever seen on this site.
omg
I have never laughed so much reading this blog! The comments are amazings and I agree with every single one!
It’s like what Spiderman would wear scuba diving. If he wore yellow. And dresses.
This is, very quite possibly, the ugliest dress that ever was. Rosanna looks squinty high to me, so maybe she wasn’t in her right mind as she got dressed/slithered in the lizard’s vag. How else would someone sane explain this dress choice? Something nice: her blue cocktail ring is quite lovely, but I literally have to cover the page to hide the open-toed shobooties.
May God have mercy on her soul.
Proceed!
She looks like Steven Tyler in drag…
I felt compelled to come back to look at this once again, and I was again startled by those toes once I got to the bottom. Merciful heavens, woman, look at yourself! She reminds me a bit of a yellow Svetllana Vodka robo-woman, complete with the enormous chestal units. And on the back of things, I’m sorry but it looks like a magenta and black penis points north up her backside. Cringe.
I don’t think the dress is terrible at all! I think it would look great on a much younger & taller woman with small boobs! It kid of looks like the dresses from Custo Barcelona that I covet! Now, those shoes are FUGLY!
She looks like Steven Tyler in drag.
I’m weighing in late here, but yeahandalso got it right … no need for Fug Madness 2012 … we have a winner … although, since Fug Madness is awarded for a “body of work” we better go ahead and have it … but really, this is going to be tough to beat … it’s like a op art poster, and not a GOOD op art poster either
Her face is terrifying, she looks like a reptilian. The dress might be decent on someone else, but not this plastic surgery nightmare, pulled too tight hot mess.
Here I am, minding my own business, looking through someone’s tumbler of catwalk pictures from the 90s and WHAT CREEPS UP ON MY SCREEN?
http://90srunway.tumblr.com/post/8064138321/jean-paul-gaultier-fall-1995
This here may be bad, but clearly it could have been worse. Blue jumpsuit siri worse. My mind has been blown.
OK…who’s the smartass who put a “kick me” note written in Borg on her back?
OMG–I am not kidding, German artist Beatrix Ost (she lives here) came to my regular-person Nia class last week wearing THIS VERY THING as a hooded jumpsuit. She has plenty of moola to buy such a thing and then sweat it up, but I just kept staring at it all through class. I am gobsmacked to find the dress version on Rosanna Arquette!!! Who designed it? Dying to know!
I think that with better shoes, and worn to a 70s wallpaper themed party this wouldn’t be too bad. I’m more worried about what’s happening with her face.
ohmygoodness! I about spit my morning coffee onto the computer screen! Tron on crack, so HILARIOUS-and the badass look is funny to-drugs before the party led to this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is this one of the outfits the JPG did for the film, “The Fifth Element”? Either way, her stylist must hate her.
I’m still laughing; at first glance it resembles the back of a giant snake.