That chest. Ouch. Those things are so repressed they’re practically Arthurian peasants. Fortunately for Madonna, the rest of her dress was actually surprisingly cool, but is it enough to overcome the fact that she may have tattooed herself with a bust bruise? And WHAT is up with her glove fetish? Hand hatred? Lagerfeld envy? Let the speculation commence.
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Comments (69):
She’s looking good in a Faye Dunaway/Sharon Stone/half-way to crazy sort of way.
I absolutely think this is about her old lady, veiny, knobbly hands. They are the oldest looking thing about her. Which is perfectly natural, because hands are one of the first places we age. I’m actually kind of surprised that she hasn’t had collagen injections in her hands, given her evident devotion to making herself look as young and plumply succulent as possible. I’m kind of torn on Madonna’s plastic surgery, because on the one hand, I think she’s way more badass than this seeming fear of aging, but on the other, I think Madonna can age however the hell she wants to.
I saw an interview with Dolly Parton promoting her latest and she TOO had gloves on. I am in full agreement that it is hard to have “hand rejuvenation” surgery and some ladies are trying to cover it up.
The glove fetish is to cover her old lady hands. You can botox, stretch, pull fix, oh so much, but you can’t really jack with hands.
I feel their pain! Too many years of food service and now exercise have uglified my hands ( I’m nearly 40, age isn’t helping either)… I often bemoan the fact that gloves are not in fashion.
I thought the dress was an interesting take on the whole bodice-with-differently-textured-and-material-skirt genre that seems to be big the last couple of years. What I would have liked to have seen was not such a dramatic color change, because the textures are awesome, but the color change isn’t complimentary. So either a darker bodice or a lighter skirt, and I think this would have been cramazeballs.
As for Madge – I’m just grateful she’s no longer showing us her thighs and has dropped into a more lady-like phase. If it means we have to suffer weird fingerless gloves, it’s a compromise I’ll accept.
But now that you mention it, her breasts do look like they probably still have an indentation mark across them over 12 hours after she presumably removed the dress. Not good.
I’ll bet the thighs come out on Superbowl Sunday.
@T – true, but that’s a performance stage. I was thinking red carpet.
I like the fabric of the top part, if you can call it fabric. It kind of looks like ladies chain mail.
I did not like how snotty and self-obsessed Madonna seemed last night. Did she have to keep calling MY movie, MY song…?
She also seemed to be under the impression that her film was winning an award not a song from the film.
She is completely immersed in her fame bubble and has no clue and certainly no humility.
@Carolyn – you are so right. I saw an ‘after-party’ deal on E where someone asked her the old standards (1) Who is your fashion icon… she looked very confused and said “You mean who do I look up to?” in a rather incredulous way…. as if they were asking God who He prayed to! and (2) what is the one item in your closet you can’t do without… she was totally lost and finally said “panties”… I believe there is evidence out there to the contrary. She takes narcissism to a new level and I can only guess at the horror those around her endure.
I LOVE the dress. HATE the fit and the glove and how smug and self-obsessed she was last night (or anytime, frankly) It’s the most unattractive thing about her.
I’d say she’s confident and self-assured and that’s why I like her!
I’m just curious…don’t the first two voting options say essentially the same thing. I think this is the best Madonna’s looked…basically ever! I don’t even mind the bust squishing, really. The thing is, breasts are pretty squishy. You can squish ‘em around a whole lot without it really hurting. In my experience. ANYWAY. She looks great. Not totally fakely smooth (okay, quite a bit fakely smooth but not wackadoodle fakely smooth). Toned but not scary. And that dress is killer. Not a fan of the blue dress.
Whoops! Late night. Fixing now…
I LOVE HER DRESS!!! Yes, her boobs are spilling out, but she wanted it that way… Remember when her boobs were spilling out of her dress when she won the Golden Globe for Evita? Maybe that was her way of trying to win again; it’s like her spilling boobs are her good luck charm and they work!
Anyway, love the dress & the jewels & the glove (shout out to the 80s, yo!) And, I was happy to see her win! Her hair & makeup were not outstanding, but with a dress that stunning, I understand her going demure! I also love the dresses in Pics #2 & #3… And, she’s rocking those gloves! I don’t know what’s gotten into her, but I LIKE IT! I’d wear all those dresses (sans gloves because I’m not Madonna)! FAB!!!
Uck no….. my boobs are still crying in sympathy. They are meant to uplifted gently not wrangled into an iron maiden and bruised. The rest of the dress is ok, I think if it fit better on top I would like it a bit more.
I cannot explain the gloves but after reading the comments I think they may be due to old lady hands…… just age gracefully, please.
When she was accepting her chest didn’t look this obviously squished. I was pretty impressed with the dress, actually.
Her speech on the other hand, hilariously bad. The self corrections on her grammar and the stilted way of speaking as if now, at 50+ she wants to be dignified and demure and expects us all to forget her various … shennanigans; and then the content of the speech! What award did she think she’d won? Best Direcotor?
Hilarious!
I LOVE this dress, full stop. I LOATHE the quadra-boob look, though. It is unflattering and — seriously — this woman has ALL the money. It’s not like she couldn’t have had it custom-tailored from the start. There’s no excuse for this.
Re the gloves, I feel bad actually for in the past having criticized her hands for looking their age. It makes me sad that she’s apparently developed some kind of complex over what her hands look like when they, in fact, look like the hands of a fifty-something year old woman. I am not a fan of this style of driving glove, but she has worn some other gloves that I rather liked. If she’s going to cling to the glove thing, then I hope she finds some that are cooler. If she gets to a place where she can say “celebrate my awesome hands, they’ve made me what I am!” then all the better.
Sophia Loren wears these lovely little lace things….
I actually love all 3 of the looks, with some tweaks for fit. The last dress would be a knockout on someone like Emma Stone, no?
A bit distracted by the botox in photo #1, actually.
But apart from that, if the bodice weren’t so constricting, this would be kind of a cool dress.
Um, excuse me, but CAPE. CAAAAAAPE!!!
Sarah has it right, smug and self-obsessed.
That is NOT confidence.
Matador’s funeral! Bwah ha ha ha ha! <3
I thought the blue dress was great, but she wrecked the look with those stupid half gloves.
She’s been veering into self-caricature for a long time now. She’s such an meticulously-maintained self-fetishistic construct that it’s almost impossible to take her seriously anymore. That frozen smile, those poses, the hyper-designed dresses – oh my God, she’s turning into latter day Mae West. Terrible.
OMG, that’s really the perfect description. “Latter day Mae West”. And you’re right as well in your assessment of it. Terrible.
Amen, fritanga! She’s been on the path to self-parody for AGES … and not in a self-aware kind of way (that would be at least partially redeeming).
At least Mae West was FUNNY.
I didn’t read all the comments and I’m sure someone already said this, but the gloves have GOT to be to cover her old lady hands. That is one area that is hard to nip/tuck. It’s a give away of your age.
She could actually get collagen injections for her hands (and 52 isn’t OLD LADY! shrieks the 52 year old woman); but what’s interesting about Madonna, is that despite all her work, she really just looks her age. She’s 52 and that’s how old she looks. Odd.
Your exactly right. She looks old in a smooth way or smooth in an old way…if that makes sense…
She always had beautiful fair skin. At 52 she shouldn’t have to do all this work. i doubt she needed it.
That’s what I don’t get about Madonna’s hands. She’s only 52 and that is not old. Michelle Pfeiffer, Andie MacDowell and Madeleine Stowe were all born the same year as Madonna and they all have age-appropriate hands. Madonna has hands like my 84 year old auntie. I think this is likely 80% due to excessive exercise and maybe 20% due to genetics.
I love the awards dress. The texturing on the skirt just blows me away. But yes, the quadra-boobs (thank you Lina, fantastic term) really detract. It’s not difficult to make a bodice that flatters boobs!
I liked the awards show dress, but wonder why she opted for the quadra-boob? That can’t be comfy.
Re: driving glove: Plus one for the Old Lady Hand Coverage camp. It reminds me of that old saying: “At a certain point, one has to choose between one’s face and one’s ass.”
IMadge’s case, she seems to have taken her face out of the equation entirely (entrusting it to whatever cocktail of Botox/collagen/fillers/etc she’s using) and has chosen her ass over her hands. For the record, I think the glove look ridiculous. You’re not fooling anyone, honey.
Sorry for the typos in the previous post — apparently, I cannot make pithy remarks about Madonna AND concentrate on a conference call.
When I read the line “Arthurian peasants” I imagined her breasts screaming “Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! We’re being repressed!
King Arthur: “Old man!”
Peasant: “Woman!”
Diane Keaton went through a glove thing, too —
but hers had fingers.
If anyone at the Globes needed to jot down a quick note, they could simply snatch one of the millions of Post-It s from Madge’s skirt
I think (??) I read somewhere that she had been doing kickboxing. Maybe she has bruised/burned knuckles from her workouts. It would make sense with the arms. But this is pure speculation since I can’t remember if that’s actually true or not.
I ain’t mad at her. I’m probably going to be rocking leather gloves hard when I have old lady hands.
I love all the dresses. I think the third one just needed to go up a size. Like I stated earlier…. I am so tempted to do the glove thing myself. And if she manages to get it to be a fashion yes… I’ll have to send the woman mad props and thanks ( so not a Madonna fan…but she’s workin’ it).
What kind of whacked out deal with the devil has Madonna made to get herself looking like Kate Winslet’s crazy, half-starved sister these days? Am I remembering wrong that Madonna used to be … more shapely? And even when she was thin, she had more of an hourglass figure, I thought. She looks like she must be wearing a corset these days to get everything flatter, but forgot the boobal area. Entirely. As if it is dead to her – she will ignore it for being impertinent!
I think I may have liked the dress on its own… or on someone else. But it’s distracting trying to judge it on its own merits when I’m too caught up in my ever-growing disdain for the woman in it. Apart from the ridiculous melting face, I’ve just been growing steadily unimpressed with her behaviour – there’s a fine line between amusingly diva and just plain rude and ungrateful to everyone around her. I believe last night Carson Daly told her she looked beautiful, and she said something to the effect of ‘beautiful? is that the only word you can think of’ (I couldn’t really hear her, but he then corrected it to fantastic or something like that).
Yes she’s been innovative and provocative in the past, but she’s not God’s gift to music, movies fashion or the world of faux-British accents, and maybe carrying herself with a little more dignity would be apt.
The dress is fine, and I don’t even mind the gloves. But what is going on with Madonna’s bum-chest? Give up, Madge, and embrace the flatness, there’s nothing wrong with it!
I don’t know if she or Sarah Jessica Parker would even have what is being referred to as “old lady hands’ if they would allow themselves a wee bit of body fat. The work outs and diets might be good for buff arms, tiny waists and toned legs, but something has to suffer, and the hands seem to be it. It’s a give and take, ladies.
SHE’S WEARING A CAPE SHE’S WEARING A CAPE SHE’S WEARING A CAPE!!!!
OK got that out of my system! I LOVE her globes dress, just wish it were better fit in the bust but the dress is so interesting and funky and cool I adore it. CAPE
The cape + the gloves = superhero. Awesome superhero.
Also, yeahandalso, until just now, I always read your name as Yay Han Solo. And I’m not even a Star Wars fan. (Star Wars, right?)
I would totally love this dress, but OW and DRIVING GLOVE = NO.
That black velvet number, on the other hand (heh), is gorgeous. Yanno, minus the CAPE and GLOVES.
God, I was so distracted every time I saw her by how her boobs were being absolutely smashed into submission, it was awful, made mine hurt. The rest of the dress is awesome, but I was having some major mammary empathy last night. The gloves are rather hilarious…
Agree that the gloves are to cover up her old lady hands!
I had a close look at her naked hand in the first picture there and it doesn’t look too bad – veiny yes, but not age-spotted. Maybe she’s feeling the cold. Nice dress.
“Arthurian Peasants” = AWESOME.
I think the outfits are just evidence of a larger problem.
It’s not about gloves or hair or capes (okay, it MIGHT be about capes). After that speech last night, I wonder about her grasp on reality. I think this woman is dangerously close to Norma Desmond territory now.
Actually, Sunset Boulevard might be the one movie that Madonna could successfully make. I know I’d see it: “No one ever leaves a star. That’s what makes one a star.”
Like Cecily, I can’t really assess the dress on its own merits, because I am cringing in sympathetic pain to her chest. It’s like a bra which is 4 cup sizes too small.
Can we start a Madonna-remake-of-Sunset Boulevard petition?
Yes! Where do I sign?
bitch, you’re not karl lagerfeld. personally i think the gloves are a ploy to disguise her liver spots.
You rock, Michelle! Awesome comment!
I think it is sad that Madonna works so hard to stay fit but feels the need to hide her “old looking” hands with those stupid gloves that make her look even older! Hell, I would rather have skeleton hands that scare little children than Type 2 Diabetes like half of our population.
I am more frightened by all the facial filler, I bet she would have looked just great without all that junk.
Ironic that about the only thing that will make hands and faces look young is fat. Good old subcutaneous fat. The kind that you get from not starving and exercising like a person with an eating disorder.
But now that we’ve all been convinced that any evidence of body fat is pure EVIL!!!!!! we’ll see an avalanche of bony crone claws everywhere, once the aging star population begins to regret their exercise regimes. Buy stock in gloves, cause they’ll be selling wildly soon.
And I forgot to say it, but that dress is too tight. Go up a size. No one will see the number on the label anyway.
It’s a beautiful dress on its own merits. The applied and ruched tafetta is genius. But it looks like she is punishing her breasts for daring to still contain lipids. I’m in Camp Norma Desmond.
We are of the same age, and thirty years ago, I remembered wondering what she’d be like at age fifty. This is pretty much what I expected. But, she’s my Almost SWINTON.
Someone really needs to let Madonna know she’s over 40.
That part where you said it was perhaps “a shout out to herself’? YES. I think that is her whole life now. Listen, I loved her as a little tween, but it’s all too much now. Her ego is mind-boggling.
The first dress is amazing, but her poor tortured boobs, I’m surprised they haven’t up and run away with all she’s put them through over the years.
Agree with everybody else regarding her unattractive attitude.
Love the red lip with dress #2. Great color for her.