Today is Kate “Duchess of Cambridge” Middleton’s 30th birthday! And happy birthday to her. I had the (national) news on in the background while I was making dinner last night, and I overheard the newscaster say the following (which I have paraphrased, but only slightly): “Since marrying Prince William, Kate Middleton hasn’t taken a step wrong…EXCEPT SHE HASN’T HAD A BABY YET.” DUM DUM DUM DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN. To which I say: a) dude, they haven’t even been married a year! b) her husband is in the military! c) she is not the ONLY PERSON RESPONSIBLE FOR KNOCKING HERSELF UP, and d) she has to host the OLYMPICS in August. She has STUFF ON HER PLATE. GIVE A SISTER A BREAK. I’m sure she is well aware of the fact that gestating an heir to the throne is a big part of her job description, given how she is a sentient being who grew up being taught basic British history. Let’s give those kids at least a year to be married before we all start flinging ourselves off the Tower of London, wailing “BUT WHAT OF HER BARREEEEEENNN WOOOOOOOOOOOOOMB” on the way down. It’s all going to be fine. But is her outfit?
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