Maybe Jessica White is a genius. Maybe Jessica White wore Crappic Thunder the other night specifically to set the bar so low that it became subterranean.
It half-worked — it’s true that I looked at this and heaved a sigh of relief that it did not cinch at the ankles and have more ruffles than a bag of potato chips. But if that’s the nicest thing I can think of to say, other than, “hey, 1984 would really dig your demi-turban,” then we’re still operating at a sanity deficit.
[Photo: Getty]
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Comments (26):
You can say what you want but I think she looks amazing! I want that turban!!
The lame’ demi-turban is a strange choice, but does pick up her jewelry. That dress is only a bit better than the standard miniskirt under leg curtains, but not much.
The designers for this event certainly went all drapey and swoopy, didn’t they? Do you supposed they phoned each other ahead of time and coordinated?
Her head does look like a very beautiful crustacean. I think I might like it.
From the neck up she looks great. Why didn’t she just go with that? What’s wrong with these girls – is being pretty too mainstream?
Isn’t the purpose of a turban to conceal your hair – sort of like a dress-up baseball cap? And that lank, geasy hair needs some concealing. On the whole, I like the dress. That’s a great color for her.
I totally thought this was Venus Williams until I got to the white pedicure… That gave Jessifug away! Compared to the white lace tragedy, this might be a FAB!
Too skinny. I started at the turban, got distracted by the curtain dress but got stopped cold by the stick figure arms.
She is totally working this, as dubious as the outfit itself is. Even the turban…suits her, maybe? She certainly has the face shape to wear hats well.
I do covet a turban. Alas, this one is not quite ringing my bell – ixnay on the demi, then we might have a winner.
Despite the ruffle-y mulletness of the dress, red is definitely her color.
It’s a turban? It looks like a formal gilded bicycle helmet. I bet she kept getting those leg curtains caught in the chain.
It looks like a very rich person’s dog took a big gold doodie on her head… Mariah Carey is obviously the prime suspect.
Please. Mimi’s probably sitting at home with Dem Babies fuming that she didn’t think of pairing that turban with matching hot pants.
True dat.
Okay, despite the fact that she is dressed like a crazy person, this girl is insanely pretty.
She’d look perfect without the turban TBQH. Or at the very least excusable
She’s trying to qualify for Fug Madness ’12.
This is the only explanation.
This is so over-the-top campy that I have come all the way back around to loving it. Shine on.
LOOK AT ME! I’M WEARING A CRAZY GOLD HAT OF SOME KIND! NOT CRAZY ENOUGH? LOOK AT MY TOES! I’M THE WACKIEST! Now, please put my picture all over the inter-webs. I want, nay, need to be famous. Thank you.
Her stylist must be a drag queen. It’s the only explaination for this and the terrifying lace jumpsuit with extra ruffles. Don’t get me wrong I adore the magnificence that is Drag but she can’t pull it off.
Baby steps, folks. I had never seen her prior to the white lace disaster, so I find this to be an improvement. If she continues on the path, she should look good by 2014.
It seems she should be tossing flowers from a float in a parade.
Came to beg you to give names to more heinous outfits. “Crappic Thunder” made me tear up a little and when I explained why to my husband he agreed that I should come and let you know how much it meant to both of us. Thank you, more please.
YES, PLEASE!!!
I dont really love any of it but she is so pretty and the gold and red look amazing on her she can pull this off & compared it to the other day….this a major improvement. Hate the black shoes with it!!
Is this really the same person? She looks fab, even with the mullet and the turban, FAB!
Why do I think that Madonna’s Cleopatra headdress at the Super Bowl is going to lead to an entire season of “top-this” copycats wearing a variety of unusual head gear? Let me get some popcorn….