KFUG BY KANYE WEST


“SO THE OTHER DAY I WAS LIKE, DAMN, YOU KNOW ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO MAKE CLOTHES? THEY’RE OKAY AND ALL, AND I RESPECT THEIR CREATIVE MAGIC, EXCEPT FOR HOW I COULD TOTALLY DO IT BETTER. I DESERVE THIS RUNWAY SHOW MORE THAN THEY DO BECAUSE I AM THE MOST MODEST DOPE PERSON YOU WILL EVER MEET. I’M SO HUMBLE, I’M LIKE A SHED IN A SEA OF MANSIONS, EXCEPT IT’S A REALLY TRICKED OUT SHED WITH A SWIMMING POOL AND A BAR AND A BIG-ASS TV AND THAT NFL PACKAGE. SO LOOK AT MY CLOTHES. THEY’RE BETTER THAN YOURS, ALTHOUGH I CAN’T TELL YOU THAT IN PUBLIC OR ELSE I’M GOING TO HAVE TO LET YOU WRITE A SONG ABOUT HOW SAD YOU ARE AND NOBODY WANTS THAT. CLOWNS DON’T CRY BECAUSE IT’S FUNNY. THEY CRY BECAUSE THEY HATE BEING CLOWNS, RIGHT? YEAH. YOU GET IT.”

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Comments (85):

  1. Willow
    0

    Models 13 and 14 look like they have sanitary towels on their feet.

    This whole thing was a mess.

  2. Alix
    0

    OMG, for this post alone, you should win some sort of Pulitzer! This show was a festival of fug.

  3. dannygurl
    0

    WT….?!? Most of the collection looks like it could be used to wipe tush after getting off of “The Throne”–eewww!

  4. Jessica
    0

    Slide 7 is terrifying. I’m fairly certain the outfit is eating her head. It has teeth, it could do it.

  5. Christian
    0

    This sh*t is atrocious on all levels. This might be THE worst celebrity line I’ve ever seen, and that’s saying something. I don’t think a single piece of clothing in that slideshow fit anyone wearing it.

  6. nicola
    0

    Foot Hoth. Bless you.

  7. pem
    0

    Have you ever considered setting up a pretend Kanye twitter account to channel this character? I’m not on twitter but I would join just to follow your Kanye musings.

    Hideous clothes, but that’s just a sideshow to this post, really.

    • Alix
      0

      Yes to this.

      • Steph
        0

        Please make this happen.
        … and then somehow hook up with Josh Groban (take that however you’d like), so he can sing your Pseudo-Kayne tweets. (YouTube Josh Groban, Kayne tweets. Trust.)

  8. Julie Chase
    0

    Holy girl-flesh Batman.

  9. Kestralyn
    0

    Is this a celebrity line where they actually let the celebrity near the clothes? YUCK! It doesn’t even feel avant garde or fashion forward… just messy.

  10. Eliza Bennett
    0

    FUG GIRLS, YOU ARE CRAYMAZING BECAUSE YOUR KDUBS POSTS ARE CONSCIOUSNESS RAISING YOUR HUMOR IS WORTH PRAISING AND AFTER ONE OF THEM I FEEL LIKE I SURVIVED A SORORITY HAZING.
    Damn. That was hard. You guys rock.That is all.

  11. giggleswick
    0

    Tears streaming down my face. You are genius. In 17 photos you never let up. Not once.

  12. Lina
    0

    *dies laughing at the snakeskin pants page* That was awesome. Also, one of the Olsens is wearing really pretty shoes. That blue mary-jane pump? Nice.

    I’m surprised that one or two pieces here are actually kind of wearable — whoever is his ghost designer apparently snuck in some not-entirely-terrible work. That said, I’m really curious how much input KW had here. How much blame should he shoulder for this?

  13. Nancy C.
    0

    These outfits made my eyes bleed but it was all worth it cuz the commentary had me laughing my ass off.

  14. Miz H
    0

    OK, the pants in slide 1 look dirty.

    I actually like the outfit on slide 9 except for pairing white and beige.

    And yeah, I get it Kanye, you like boobs.

  15. Belle
    0

    Well done with the COMMENTARY!

  16. Claudette
    0

    My god, what is happening to that poor model’s body in #15? Who could possibly think that this looks good?

  17. LoriK
    0

    My response when I first saw the collection was that it looked like the kind of things that might be worn by the kind of woman KANYE hangs out with. That was not in any sense a compliment.

    (Yes, I’m being judgey. No, I do not feel bad about it. )

  18. Annie E
    0

    Lina…. I HIGHLY doubt Kanye let anyone else near his clothing line.

    The New York Times said that a few people affiliated with the fashion industry had encouraged Kanye to do a fashion line, and that Alaia, Altuzarra, and Wintour were among the guests at the show. I mean… seriously? What about Kanye gave anyone the impression he could design clothes? Does the bubble of famous people who go to fashion shows see a totally different person than the rest of humanity?

    • LibraryChick
      0

      I think they can’t see because they’re too busy wearing the venetian blind shades Kanye made famous?

  19. Rebs
    0

    Slow clap, Ladies. Brava

  20. Bistie Lou
    0

    Reading this has been the highlight of my day. Thank you!

    Not only were the clothes horribly designed but also looked like a home economics class gone terribly wrong.

    That last pic of the front row made me want to vomit.

  21. Cathy
    0

    I loved your Kanyementary. It is almost as funny as these clothes are butt ugly.

  22. meme
    0

    fugliest shizz i has evah seed.

  23. jen
    0

    You are a super stud Heather. I bow down to you.

  24. Kara
    0

    All the models’ faces have one of three looks: “Bitch, please.” “I know, but it’s a paycheck.” “Help me.”

  25. Spacelamb
    0

    The clothes are ugly but, even worse, they are boring. This hilarious commentary is the best thing about them.

  26. TonyG
    0

    I liked the peach zipper dress and the extra-long skirt (slide #9), but that’s about it. Most of the other stuff almost looks like he tossed fabric on a mannequin to figure out the “lines” of the outfits.

  27. Gracie
    0

    THIS HAS BEEN MY FAVORITE POST BY YOU GUYS SINCE FOREVER I DIED LAUGHING DOES THAT ALL RHYME NO OKAY WHATEVER.

    Srsly, Kanye? I can make some of that stuff by taping a sheet to my nipples.

  28. Stefanie
    0

    KANYE IS REPLACING J.LO AS MY FAVORITE.

  29. Lucy
    0

    This was amazing. Well done. I’ referring to the commentary, not the clothes, of course.

  30. Stefanie
    0

    OH AND I AGREE FOREPLAY SHOULD BE A SPORT.

  31. Carol
    0

    This is completely deranged …

  32. Laura E.
    0

    The clothes are horrifying. The post, however, is in the top 5 of GFY history. I can’t wait for Kanye’s next collection, only because I want to read what you have to say about it.

  33. crookedE
    0

    Thank you, Kanye, for creating a collection of such munificent fuggitude. You have clearly inspired my hero Fug Girls to go above and beyond. This post was exceptional.

  34. Kit
    0

    Best commentary ever, ever, in the whole world. It had me smiling crazily at my ‘puter the whole time. It’s good I work in law, ‘cuz otherwise, people would worry if they saw me smiling crazily at my computer.

    Also, I kind of like the “naked” outfit.

    maybe I am crazy.

    Hmmmm….

  35. Leah
    0

    Oh my goodness. That last photo has some chorus-line of shoe porn.

  36. Fuh Ugh
    0

    EPIC FAIL KANYE

  37. Elise
    0

    The commentary was spot on. The clothes, not so much. Do fashion people think this stuff was anything but horrifying? I seriously hope not.

  38. marie
    0

    SLICED UP MUMMY BANG..

    seriously, we owe so much to you girls..

  39. kathotdog
    0

    Every model looks sad and angry.

  40. Maria
    0

    That was hilarious!

  41. Eloise
    0

    I could read this Kanye-sh*t all day. You are on FIRE!

  42. Brooke
    0

    Couldn’t really concentrate on the clothes because a) the commentary was so freaking brilliant and b) the models are GORGEOUS. Most runway models look like alien/human crossbreeds. If the clothes were weird/hideous at least he got traditional beauties to wear them. Wow.

  43. vandalfan
    0

    You gals are slaying me today!

  44. Mooshki
    0

    “MY EMPIRE STRUCK BACK, Y’ALL.” This is my new catch phrase for everything!

  45. Kary
    0

    @Cathy — Kanyementary is PRICELESS.

    All the caps make my head hurt.

  46. Louisa
    0

    Kanye’s collection was tragically tossed in the incinerator just prior to the show. It was an accident, of course. So the ever-resourceful Kanye went to the nearby homeless shelter and traded the clothes of everyone there for Macy’s cards. He took the clothes of the homeless, put them on the models unwashed, and accessorized until it all became delightful. Genius!

  47. Taryn
    0

    I laughed myself into tears over this. Y’all are geniuses. Kanye should pay you for, I don’t know, making his horrible collection watchable. Or something.

  48. G
    0

    It’s funny that there were only two shoe styles. The shearling slipper with bare toes one was just ridiculous but surprisingly enough I really like the stringy one.

  49. deee
    0

    Oh my. The collection looks like it was put together by a horny 14 year old boy and his seven year old sister.

    And how bad do the clothes have to fit to make a runway model look like she has saddlebags? Poor model number #15 in her shiny penny outfit of fug.

    And BTW you Fug girls are on fire today. Everything is SO FUNNY! What did y’all do this weekend that amped up your creative juices?

  50. Sajorina
    0

    Ok, so…

    1) THIS COLLECTION IS MAD FUG, YO!

    2) I can count with one hand the pieces that are actually wearable, but I still wouldn’t wear any of them!

    3) I’m surprised that the models didn’t walk the catwalk with bottles of Hennessy in their hands!

  51. Ellen
    0

    OMG “Sliced Up Mummy Bang!”

  52. ccm800
    0

    Kanye I don’t mean to interrupt you and I gonna let you finish but E’ERBODY designs better than you bish!

  53. CJ
    0

    Hilarious post. Horrendous clothes. I have never felt so sorry for models.

  54. Moi
    0

    I had to stop myself from sticking sharp sticks into my eyeballs after viewing this caca, because that would mean I’d never again get to read your brilliant send up commentary.

  55. Andrew S.
    0

    This is the most beautiful post I have ever read by you. I’m just speechless.

    a million stars!

  56. Emma
    0

    Wow, it’s so hard to find dresses that expose the breasts, midriff, groin AND thigh.

  57. S Clover
    0

    I just had to read it twice… it’s that good! Hilarious! This may be my all time favorite of all of your posts, and that’s saying something (J. Lo, SWINTON, etc!!) But you have outdone yourself!

  58. Karen
    0

    Outstanding post, ladies! I just woke my whole house up because I was laughing uncontrollably (actual hysteria) and they thought I was having a breakdown. *smile*

  59. jean
    0

    But you guys, it was all done in tasteful neutrals. And the snakeskin pants are clearly for casual Fridays.

  60. Cecily
    0

    HORRIBLE clothes. Looks like a bunch of laundry with static cling was hurled at these girls shortly before approaching the runway. HIDEOUS! The Kanye posts are truly hilarious, too.

  61. nina
    0

    ha! this post was awesome. btw all the comments sound like things aziz ansari would say if he was pretending to be kanye. hahaha

  62. katie
    0

    this is one of the best posts i have ever read.

  63. kaitlyn
    0

    hahaha you two are hilarious. this post is what makes me love gofugyourself! seriously, you are the best!!

  64. Cinema Nostalgia
    0

    LOL. You so owe me a new keyboard and a fresh cup of coffee!

  65. amy t.
    0

    I wonder if Kanye watches Glee. Because if he does, I bet he’s kicking himself for not being the first to come up with “self-diagnosed Asperger’s” as a way to explain away every douchey thing he says. I mean, I know he didn’t actually say anything in this post, but let’s be honest. He totally would have if you’d given him the opportunity.

  66. Marisa
    0

    I never laughed so hard in my life…oh that was fun, thanks

  67. CAF
    0

    The commentary was HILARIOUS, and the model in picture 8 needs a cheeseburger or 10.

  68. Leone
    0

    Heather you have outfugged yourself with this one. There’s got to be an award for this post. One of the, if not THE, best posts. EVER.

    BRAVA dahling. BRAVA!

  69. Viv
    0

    GENIUS. Literary Nobel prize for this, please. SNL should use your comments for a show on K and pay you millions.

  70. Chris
    0

    I tried to see how far I could go in this without totally losing it.

    Turns out, I only managed to make it to Slide 4. Brevity is the soul of wit, indeed.

    Re: self-diagnosed Asperger’s – Glee wasn’t even the first place where that happened!

    I’ve heard that approximately 1 in 110 people has an autistic-spectrum disorder. If the Internet is to be believed, the number is actually 1 in 110 people who DON’T have an autistic-spectrum disorder.

  71. nyouge
    0

    Honestly Kanye, women issues? What happens to the poor girl in seven if she zips up her “hoodie”?

  72. Fifi
    0

    I will probably be ripped apart for this, but honestly, I didn’t find the line to be as terrible as the comments made it seem. I think that if some of the clothes had a better fit, they would actually be wearable. I could definitely see some of those pieces in a nice high fashion editorial… styling and fit are key. They obviously aren’t ready to wear pieces. I can see what he was going for… he didn’t quite hit the mark, but considering all the other drab “it’s already been done” celebrity lines out there, his isn’t that bad.

  73. LibraryChick
    0

    I just don’t get why so many of the models had hair styled to cover the right eye. Does Kanye consider the right eye to be the “evil” one and made the models cover them? I don’t know anything about walking a runway, but I would guess having both eyes available might be helpful.

  74. Jennifer
    0

    This was hysterical Heather! My fav : “It’s not my fault I ‘ve seen the future, and the future has no buttons…”