“Hello, world. You think I’m dressing older? You think I got dowdy? Well GET A LOAD OF THIS.

“Oh, and P.S., sorry Mildred Pierce was so interminable. And that we claimed she invented chicken restaurants. And surf-and-turf. And that Melissa Leo only gave one line reading the whole time.  And that the last line was, ‘Let’s get stinko.’ But admit it: After that thing was over, you WANTED to get stinko. Plus, I gave you some naked Guy Pearce. And now, I give you my breasts on a white platter. You’re welcome.”