This music awards show in France always yields the crazy, but MY LORD, this year it came with an extra level of NSFW. I had to bury The Outfit on slide #5 or 6 so that it wouldn’t show up on the homepage. Plus, I felt the need to sandwich it between gentler nonsense. One can’t always plunge headfirst into the fug. Sometimes you start with a toe. Or in Bieber’s case, a moonboot.
[Photos: Getty and WENN]
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Comments (70):
I am guessing that Shy’m's breastplate had that funky texture/pattern to it so she could use plenty of powder. Because otherwise – CHAFING. Ungodly chafing.
And with that, off to Physical Therapy…
Her breastplate looks like unfinished fiberglass. ITCHY!
plasti-boobs.
what disturbs me most is that in the picture of her back, her skin/flesh is actually BUNCHING down the spine coz that thing is laced so tight. You are NOT fat girl, and if something is causing you to get bunched up skin like that you should NOT be wearing it, its a health hazard.
Dear Shy’m,
If you realise you are naked as you are running out the door and decide to tie a hotel sheet around you, at least have it cover your boobs as well.
With kindest regards,
The world
When I saw Shym on my TV I was so hoping she would appear back on gofugyourself.
There ‘s a mistake slide 4 : Anggun is slated to represent France (not Indonesia) in this year’s Eurovision song contest, a competition between European countries (more or less, Russia and Israel are sometimes contestants) as its name indicates. Anggun is Indonesian.
Yes, heh, I do know Eurovision is Europe mostly… I just mixed up my Wikiepedia’ing. Too much looking up of people i do not know. Fixed! Thanks!
Funny enough the Eurovision Songcontest is not only Europe as the EBU has (associate) members as far as Japan and Canada. As they pay the member fee they could send someone to the Contest! (Some of the do, eg Georgia)
Concerning the dress – I think Rhianna somewere is firing her stylist for letting it slip through her clutches!
Shy’m had a very nice hit some years ago (the real song starts at 40 secs):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwssHrTXIk4&ob=av2e
Anggun is more than nude adjacent. I definitely see areola through her swirls. And I automatically dislike her due to name similarity to the dreaded PR winner this past season.
Shakira looks great! The Bieb is not the worst of the bunch, scarily enough.
Is the breast plate chick wearing the hotel robe as a skirt/coverup?
I could get behind the jights if they were tucked into boots and not the heels my mom wears to funerals.
Cameltoe is clearly not frowned upon in Albania….
I’m without cable these past two years but I do know this:
- Mylène Farmer is well-known for being weird in a pre-Gaga way were fashion is concerned;
- IIRC Sofia participated in a reality tv game show much like American Idol. She’s really pretty but I’m getting this Disney Princess vibe from this outfit;
- Patricia Kaas is the queen of bluesy, sad ballads. Great voice, unique beauty but fashion sense…not so much;
I don’t know the other people other that JB and Shakira.
Why oh WHY is this not televised in America?! I feel so robbed.
That Shym person: I stared and stared at her … whatever … and am still confused.
Is that fiberglass? Is she a speed boat? It looks so uncomfortable.
It DOES look like fiberglass!
I bet she was a sweatball by the end of the night! There is not enough talc in the world to keep a person dry when wearing that… that …. whatever it is.
And jights??
Anggun representing Indonesia at Eurovision – perfect gentle nonsense!
That’s all I can think about…Indonesia in Eurovision?! Oh man, this is great, I can think of so many great “artists” we could send from my corner of the world.
Yes, yes, I know, I was juggling too many factoids about people I have never heard of and my brain just spat out one when I meant something else. I do know Eurovision is, you know, Europe (mostly). Thanks!
I’ll say one thing for that Shym girl, despite the ultimate fugitude of her outfit; girlfriend’s got some beautifully shaped breasts. If I had them, I’d be tempeted to show them off, too.
But, obviously, since it’s plastic, they are the shape of the PLASTIC. That may or may not be the shape of her breasts. It is the shape of her PLASTIC SHIRT. And no shirt, wherever, should force us to wonder about the shape of her breasts. Because that is ew.
I think these “transparent corsets” are actually molds of the person’s body. I googled Shy’m and found a link to some pics from Franck Sorbier’s Paris fashion week show, and each of the models “breastplates” look unique to them. I don’t know how you could fit into it otherwise.
Also, ew.
I appreciate the warning about how bad it would be, but I still just spent a good 5 minutes going “Oh my God, oh my God” click to second slide “OH MY GOD OH MY GOD”.
On the upside, in slide #11, is that guy on the left her umbrella wrangler? That is one handsome umbrella wrangler. Yay for that lady.
Ooh, you should check Mylene Farmer’s stage outfits. This is her snoozeville.
And yet the French have a reputation for being impeccably dressed…. Perhaps the entertainment industry absorbs all the crazy, leaving nothing but classic sheath dresses and perfect little suits for the normals.
Some of these…..my brain can’t even absorb what I am seeing……the Beibs actually looks somewhat “normal” compared to the others.
Heather, I take great delight in telling you that just last night while shopping, I came across not only leggings that looked like medium blue jeans, but also, tights that looked like jeans. I’m sorry.
And what a fabulous train wreck these awards were!
oh Bieber, I have that exact same pattern on a dishtowel.
Mylène Farmer and Patricia Kaas are actually great singers, so at least they have that, because they can definitely bring the crazy on stage.
But that lace-up, fiberglass, Barbarella bustier – knowing the French obsession with breasts, is this Marie Antoinette’s chest death mask?
Well, Shy’m is definitely everything by shy.
It had to be done and I apologise.
That Bieber kid must have a whole entourage of handlers – you’d think one of them would say, “dude, you look ridiculous.” Since obviously no one ever does, my conclusion is that he dresses that way so that you won’t overlook him, because otherwise, you might.
The rest of the folks in that slideshow just made me smile. You can’t even fug outfits like that, all you can do is enjoy them. That guy in the red flowered suit made my day.
erm… girls.. Indonesia? in EUROvision contest?
Yes. I know. It was a typo — when I look up six people I’ve never heard of, sequentially, sometimes their bios get all mixed up in my head and I don’t notice because I’m trying too hard to do my work in a timely fashion. Sorry!
I just looked it up, Indonesia isn’t part of the EBU but Malaysia and Australia are… so they COULD be there if they wanted to pay member fee! It really has nothing to do with the geographical Europe even so obviously the founder member where in Europe.
I’m obsessed with the Song Contest, I’m always hosting a Party or going to one when it airs!
Last year Kati Wolf with her dance-floor number was ROBBED, she should have won! (also: shiney strange dress with one sleeve/cape, as this is a fashion blog)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfE_v_kg7b0
I’ll say this for Bieber–he appears to have excellent turnout. Madame would be impressed.
As for the jights woman–was that Mylene Farmer?–her shoes are entirely too ugly AND ordinary to go with that outfit.
Bieber looks like Leslie Caron.
Never mind the individual atrocities shown here … people, this is FRANCE. The country of Chanel. This is how they dress? Coco is gyroscoping in her grave.
I doubt it. If you’ve read anything about Chanel’s early career, you know her work was considered quite daring–even scandalous–at the time. Pants on a woman! Clingy knitwear! No corsetry! Mon Dieu, what is the world coming to?!
And remember, France is also the country of Schiaparelli (Italian, yes, but her fashion career was in Paris) and Gaultier.
I actually think the breastplate is kind of crazy awesome. Why should fashion be boring and safe?
Oh! Thank you! I really like Shy’m's bustier – like is perhaps not the word.
You know, it is kind of awesome, and not a little tongue-in-cheek. Photo no. 7 is great, she looks gorgeous and clearly has a lot of fun seeing everyone’s jaw hit the pavement!
Shy’m is almost making me wish I were a philosopher, because her outfit would give me endless material for musing on The Nature of Clothes and The Concept Vs. The Thing Itself and When Are Clothes Not Clothes.
I just want to “Like” this. The years you could meditate on that.
Should we be worried about the apparent global shortage of full-length mirrors?
I still can’t figure out that Shy’m outfit. At first, I thought it was body paint, with a bed sheet. I’m still not convinced it’s not. However, the lace up bustier bit on the back disabuses that idea. But – REALLY GIRL. When your first thought is “WTF is THAT?!”, it’s not good. Stay classy. I can’t seem to remember the rest of any of them very well after that. Myyyy Eeeeeyes, indeed.
Holy Molded Fiberglass Nipples, Batman!! Geez a wheeze o Pete I’m dying of itchies just thinking about that! Praise heaven and all that is merciful she wrapped a bedspread around her waist. I shudder (and itch even worse) to think what ELSE might have been molded in fiberglass.
I totally forgot about the guy dressed in wallpaper or gift wrap. Either way, he would be easy to find in a crowd; just listen for the crinkling sound.
Yeah! I’m glad you posted about this ceremony. It was so much Fug! As for Shy’m, I was so shocked, watching it live…
Veronic DiCaire is so good. She imitated Adele, Rihanna and Lady Gaga during the Awards ceremony: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQryywti6ic
At the end of this video, there is also Shy’m with the black version of her outfit. It looks better because it’s not transparent and the skirt is not a sheet.
Heather, how did you even think of the faux museum exhibit, “Fossilized Excrement from Viking Warriors”?! My funny bone loves being surprised like that.
The breast plate is silly but the tights are way worse.
Mylène Farmer can indeed wear way more cracked out clothes. An odd one.
Veronic Dicaire is a Canadian singer (and impressionist). She’s actually quite good. She’s been represented (or at least mentored) by Céline Dion’s manager for a number of years, but I think she’s now starting to embrace her clothing as well. lol
I’m pretty sure tights that look like jeans were invented before jeggings.
Pajamajeans! Go look at your TV at 3 am, you’ll see. I assume Shy’m gets dressed using a spray gun?
And you know that last name is totally made up, like Heywood Jablowme or Amanda Hugginkiss.
Remember when people got offended for a pop star showing a bit of her belly while being fully covered otherwise?
Sigh. I miss those days.
I think the look Bieber was going for was disheveled man-of-the-world winding down after a night on the town. Instead he looks like a kindergartener playing dress up with Dad’s clothes. Real men buy clothes that fit, son.
I found the dress’s collection elsewhere, number eleven here: http://www.buzzfeed.com/gavon/the-53-most-ridiculous-outfits-from-paris-fashion Which means, there are lots more of these atrocities… EEP!
It’s fascinating and “couture” because that’s what we call cracked out now…?
Haha, and in number 26.
Mmm, just to say, all of the Zahia Dehar stuff are a joke.It’s not “couture”. I can’t believe they are showing it at Fashion week. She’s not a designer. She was a call girl known for having relationships with famous soccer players while underage. Sorry about that but I think they are differences between most of these crazy outfits (and I’m the first to laugh at many designer stuff- blinded models? Giant hats?) and her underwear collection. If you’re curious, she’s in slide 52.
That slideshow is a delight.
I literally said, “Why has Gaga not worn that yet?” followed immediately by, “Why has SWINTON not worn that yet?” (Outfits 40 and 41. And don’t even argue with 41 because those would be the military uniforms if SWINTON had her own country (naturally named SWINTONia).)
Also, now Shy’m makes more sense. Apparently, it’s trendy to accessorize with your nipples nowadays in France.
what the WHAT?
That woman with the crucifix: She’s wearing the kind of cheap, shiny, baggy sweatpants you usually see people wearing at the 24-hour Walmart.
Didn’t Anggun have a chart in the US sometime in the 80′s with “Snow in the Sahara”? (I’m going purely from memory, no Wiki-ing here, so bear with me!) Which would make her seriously well-preserved!!!
Not the ’80′s. Snow on the Sahara was released in 1997. So she’s still pretty well-preserved (she’s turning 38 this year, but I didn’t say that), but nothing to call the plastic surgeon about. (Possibly.)
(Yes, I cheated and looked at Wikipedia.)
that makes me not that old either!
Phew – that makes me not that old, either!
What a compendium of advanced fuggery. The Shy’m person looked like the Sports Illustrated body paint swimsuit feature. The Mylene Farmer person appears to be doing a Watson-Crick double helix tribute. And the poor, confused Bieber person just may have put his sneakers on the wrong feet.
shakira looks adorable!!! the rest pretty average & scary
Shy’m looks like she’s wearing a body condom and wrapped a sheet around herself for some sense of modesty?
OMG, Ahahahahahaha!!! Just the comment on Bieber’s outfit had me laughing out loud! I loved Shakira’ s outfit and her shoes… WANT! Thank you, Heather!
At least they’re FUN. It’s nice to see the French cut loose a bit from all their elegance and perfect little black dresses and excellent cosmetics. I realize that’s a stereotype, but every time I watch French movies, I look at the women in the background of scenes and even the extras look elegant. Do they have no dumpy women?
I think for Albania, that singer was showing “skin”. You can tell she has legs, hips, and a waist. Shocking!
I love Anggun’s voice though – SO beautiful! I’ve been known to have C’est ce la pluie on repeat for days…
Man, that was a wild ride. However:
Jussie’s hair makes him look more like a boy. Hoorah!
Have you not seen jights? We have them here in Australia. I’m gagging to get some for a joke party costume. They’re sold in very cheap boutiques frequented by our much-loved Australian Skanks.
Is Shakira 12?
How unfortunate is that zipper dangler dangling over Madonna of Albania’s ladybits?