Let’s lead with the good news: Miley got a haircut/got her extensions of doom taken out, and she looks great.
Right? It’s so healthy and sassy like that. And it makes sense: She’s about to hit up a lot of Hunger Games premieres alongside Liam “Last Song” Hemsworth, so she might as well try and get in the conversation, you know? Even if that conversation turns out to be, “Man, they could’ve just CGI’d him into this sucker from that Miley Cyrus movie and it would’ve been the same.” Although he really IS cute, so I am actually hoping he blows it out of the water as Gale. No, wait… get ready for it… I hope he is a Gale force. SNAP.
But the thing is, there’s a reason I cut this photo off at the head, and it’ s because what’s on the jump will make you do that half-inhale, half-squeal where you grab your face and then look around to see if any of your coworkers saw you going all Edvard Munch:
Where did she find those pants? In the trunk of a DeLorean?
And it gets worse:
She had to UNBUTTON THEM in order to sit in her car! They are so high and ridiculous that SHE COULDN’T DRIVE IN THEM. THIS IS WHY JESUS INVENTED LOW-RISE JEANS.
And they give her cankles. It’s the gift that no girl wants, so why is she giving it to herself? She’s like a cross between Amanda Jones and Jeanie-Shawna Bueller. I would suggest this is what Madonna threw on over her concert rehearsal leotard so she could run out to grab lunch, but who am I kidding — Madonna never would’ve felt the need to throw on pants over her rehearsal leotard. Miley, girl, you almost made it to Fug Madness on a wave of (comparative) glory, but I think you just shot up the seeding chart.
[Photos: Pacific Coast News]
Comments (86):
Wow. That is some mom-jean camel toe right there. DAMN.
That was my first thought too!
Haha I thought the same thing too. Audibly (at work) I said “holy crotch-tactular!!” Wow.
Wow! Thank you for the warning. I was already prepared for something awful. The trousers, the blazer, the top, everything’s awful on their own but together?! Really weird. I love the look on her face in the second photo “guys?! guys… you were supposed to take the picture when I was out of the car, not leaving the car, these trousers strangle my diaphragm”.
Her torso looks about 2 inches long in those high-tuck jeans, which are truly an abomination. And is that acid-wash I spy? Does all this suggest that Miley is venturing into the realm of ironic fashion?
Yeah, that is acid wash. *shudder*
Wow. I could *almost* be on board without the camel toe and without the cankles. I just…I feel so bad for her *parts* right now, you know what I mean? It looks painful. It’s actually making ME squirm and want to run into a bathroom stall to…rearrange.
Seriously, we’re concerned about the pants? Do we not realize she forgot her top under her jacket?
It was implied, I believe, when I noted it looked like Madonna’s rehearsal leotard.
Does she have a snaggletooth?
We don’t really bang on people’s DNA here — I like her teeth!
Didn’t Miley get her teeth capped
She so totally got her teeth capped!
OH MY GOD FUG MADNESS IS COMING!!!!! Yay! I was just thinking how boring March was going to be. YIPPEEEEEEE!!!
She got those pants from whomever’s supplying Michael Jordan.
Well, I do agree her hair looks MUCH better.
Love the Jeannie-Shawna reference! I still crack up at that whole scene.
I wore jeans like that in 1984 when I was a mere high school junior and didn’t know any better.
Argh MY EYES. Cue Liam and Miley’s “Smell The Fart” Serious Acting Face.
I just don’t understand. All these crazy kids re-inventing the 80′s like it’s cool to wear acid-washed, yeast-infection inducting jeans. Seriously – you should respect thy elders. We have done this already and have the family pictures to prove it, and it didn’t do anyone any favors the first time around. Learn from our madness. Don’t let history repeat itself.
Also – seriously, where did these jeans come from other than The Goodwill Store? Is someone out there really making tapered, high waisted, cropped, acid washed jeans? THE HORROR.
^ YES – to all of the above
AMEN!
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The pants don’t give her cankles. She has log legs.
exactly! She had cankles before the pants. Her legs are long, but totally shapeless.
“The pants don’t give her cankles. She has log legs.”
I read that as “long” legs, and I was confused, so I read it again. And again. Then I gave up. Then I read Clarence Beeks’ comment and reread Shelby’s comment c a r e f u l l y. Ahhhhhh!
Even having JUST READ your description of what my reaction would be to the jump, I STILL made the noise and face! How could you not???? I really really want to un-see this.
(Unlike The Hunger Games, which I really really want to SEE. Just not with LiHem as Gale, bc seriously??? Am I [and everyone I know] the only one who thinks it is INSANELY obvious that they accidentally reversed the casting of Peeta and Gale???)
I thought that originally, but then re-read first book recently. Peeta is described simply as being average, medium height, etc. while Gale is acknowledged as handsome. I feel it is more Peeta’s character and charisma that leave the impression that he is very good looking. So, here’s to hoping that the kid playing Peeta has some major acting chops.
I like Liam as Gale. I’m more nervous about Josh Hutcherson as Peeta. He seems kind of cocky to me, where Peeta is so sweet, but I’m hoping I love them both!
Haha, I am totally confident about Josh Hutcherson as Peeta and tres doubtful about Liam Hemsworth as Gale! (Seriously, even in the previews, it’s all mouthbreathing and being moody in a field.) I guess we’ll all just have to see what happens.
I agree that Josh’s looks match the descriptions of Peeta in the book. When I saw the casting I was all “PERFECT!” And Josh has that really young looking face that the book describes. I just hope he can pull off Peeta’s charismatic and complex personality. And Liam… all he really has to do is be moody and he’ll be a perfect Gale.
On the side, OMG the girl they cast to play Prim is ADORABLE.
See, I don’t mind him as Gale. It’s Peeta I’m worried about. He is just totally not at all what I was imagining. I couldn’t figure out who I wanted to see as Peeta until (don’t laugh, this is totally true) I was watching a Supercross race with my husband this weekend and Ryan Dungey was being interviewed and I said OUT LOUD – “OH MY GOD IT’S PEETA!” My husband looked at me like “WTF are you talking about? This is why we don’t watch sports together.”
For reference: http://mareadyphotography.com/2011/02/15/ryan-dungey-rules-it/
Ryan Dungey as Peeta is beyond perfect. I am in love with this idea and am telling my entire motocross-loving family your brilliant idea.
Oh Kat, you and I should be friends. I just spent the last 30 mins dreaming up my Monster Energy Hunger Games:
Dungey of course is Peeta, Reed is Gale, Bubba as Cato, and little Trey Canard as Rue. Jeff Emig as Heymitch, Erin Bates is of course Effie, Ricky Carmichael is Caesar. All I need is a President Snow.
Me too! I thought, “Well, now that I’ve been warned I will not be shocked – yet still gasped and did the O mouth.”
I am pretty sure I owned these pants in 1987.
I had them in ’87, but they had pleats (ugh!).
If Miley instead wore these with flat, black ankle boots and a fedora she’d be Debbie Gibson.
Ha! So so so so true! But she would also have to add a touch of long useless fringe on the jacket. Ah.. the 80s.
I KNOW I owned exactly those pants in 1987! Horrible! I wore cropped shirts with them. And a leather jacket with fringe. I’m not proud, just stating the facts. Can’t remember what shoes I would have worn.
Her hair does look better, though.
Those jeans have to be vintage, right? So that means that those were once wedged just as high up another person’s…ahem, crotch…as tightly as Miley’s, right? Ergh.
Yep, I did a little “Scream”.
please GOD, acid washed is NOT coming back??!! are those CROPPED? holy Rex Smith, she needs an intervention – STAT!
No way those pants have survived in Goodwill since 1984 – they would have spontaneously combusted!
her hair looks greatly improved!
Oh Miley. I LOVE her hair. It looks so good. I think those ratty extensions aged her about 15 years. Its nice to see them gone. Too bad her pants are now aging her 25 years.
Those are definitely Billy Ray’s jeans from the Achey Breaky Heart tour!
Also, we are so lucky to finally get to wear, comfy, flattering stretch jeans. Why do this to society?!
Pity the youth of today. Oblivious as they are to the true horrors of the eighties, they are bound to stumble blindly into disasters like this when the wheel of fashion completes its inevitable thirty year long cycle.
There is a REASON the nineties were the decade of mod minimalism – it took the collective consciousness ten years to get over the acid (wash) flashbacks.
I really hate that I have so much trouble finding pants that come up higher than my sacral vertebrae, but even I wouldn’t wear them up around my ribcage. Why would anybody want to look short and squat?
While we’re bemoaning the all out fugliness of ’80′s fashion (WORD!), we can at least give thanks that these aren’t the hideous kind of jeans that feature high waists that FOLD OVER. [the horror].
OMG! I forgot about those! And the horrible huge pleats that bloated three sizes. And the “half shirts” that were worn for the express purpose of showing off said fold over and pleats. and the double pairs day glow socks. Dear lord, WTF were we thinking?!
I had a pair that also had buttons at the waist so that you could attach a pair of suspenders. That was the only fashion available to us at the time, I don’t know why anyone would CHOOSE to wear these when there are other options available!
BTW Heather, a sincere THANK YOU for the Eric Stoltz flashbacks.
Hottest ranga ever! Even hotter then Hot Spare Harry. Oh my.
I’m with the girls who want to know where in the world she found those. Seriously, no one is making those pants currently. Right? RIGHT?! Please God say I’m right!
And secondly, I totally love the Ryan Dungey comments! I knew there was a reason I watched moto-super-cross with my husband!
Last, Fug Madness FTW!
I think those are actually the worst pants I’ve ever seen. EVER.
Her hair really looks great!! The rest….. sweet mother…. those PANTS!!! Hahah!
And YAY!!!!!! Next month is Fug Madness! WOOOO!!!!!!!!
It’s very sad. I’m sort of on board with the fleeting impression of the outfit in the bottom picture — the cheery blazer, the black top, the cropped jeans, the flats — and then the details go and spoil it all.
But the hair, and her pretty, fresh, face in these shots, almost make up for it.
oh god those pants. The make my crotch hurt just looking at them.
I don’t even like little Miles here, but she can do better. She can do better.
cant … stop … laughing …
me too! this is the funniest thing I have seen in ages!!!
those jeans look painful…
Those pants are indeed being made. I saw…wait, it’s too traumatizing, ok fine, I can do this….I saw someone wearing a pair just like this. Only with pleats.
Hold me.
No.
Oh child. It is a great haircut, but this flashback to the 80s is an A+ example of why the 80s were a TERRIBLE era for fashion! Also, giant shoulder pads are the bane of your existence when you have a short neck. AVOID! I can’t even look at the jeans and bustier except to say I’m pretty sure they’re actually vintage. And having lived through it the first time, I never want to go back. I’ll take 1993 grunge plaid over this ANY DAY, omg.
SOME THINGS SHOULD STAY IN THE 80s!
But seriously, where did she find those?? And she decided to wear them???
Now if she just had bigger shoulder pads in that blazer, her look would be PERFECT!!!
Shoulders down = That’s like a bad 90210 (original 90210 series) extra right there.
But from the shoulders up she looks so good – healthy and happy! Such a pretty haircut for her
Wow, coverage. Nice change.
Why is the button/fly open in the second picture?
You didn’t wear that kind of jeans in the day, did you? When you sit, they gouge into your ribcage.
She looks like she’s going to a Billy Rae Cyrus concert circa 1997. I’m glad she got a haircut (it still looks a little fried) and what a lovely smile. I want there to be hope for her.
This is what happens when a celebrity with no taste and no body awareness starts dressing herself instead of relying on a stylist (see Britney, Vanessa Hudgens, et al). All the clothes she’s wearing are probably expensive, but might as well have come from Goodwill or really tacky mall stores.
The haircut is an improvement, though.
Damn, I love a good guffaw. or 100.
Dear Miley Handlers,
I know you people are worried that Liam’s people are about to lower the “drop that skank” boom.
So the hair was a good idea.
Fresh cut, fresh look and all that.
But folks, the plain and simple truth is that you can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can’t take the trailer park out of the girl.
And no one is ever going to forget those penis cake pictures.
Ever.
I want to burn these. Burn these with fire.
After the description, I did not think it could possibly be that bad. It was THAT BAD. But props to her for the hair, I guess.
Miley, honey, the ’80s were a bad idea the first time around. Let them rest in peace.
Time to do the laundry again.. she is running out of changes..?
Oh dear lord what fresh hell is this. Is tramp chic making a comeback?
What is wrong with that mouth-breather?
That outfit is disgusting and the fact that I can’t stand her is making it worse! FUG to the 10th power!!!
I agree the outfit is bad, but am I the only one that thinks the haircut is worse than the outfit?
I agree about the hair. It looks fried, and the color isn’t helping. If you can see past the ends — which look like broomstraw, the hairdo accentuates her dopey chubby face and odd mouth.
The pants must be Ed Grimley’s Mom’s jeans.
Natural-waist jeans are the way to go, not low OR high-waisted funhouse “fashion.”
The very definition of scroll down fug. Egads.
The hipsters around here are wearing those en masse, so I assume that — sadly — someone must be making them again. I’ve seen them on a dozen women in the last week or so, and they’ve looked universally bad.
oh man, that’s me 25 years ago! i feel old.
This girl is loaded with money and she’s always so poorly dressed! Of course I don’t mean she should go out for pizza in couture, but she certainly can afford a good stylist and the widest clothes range to choose from in order to look clean, at least. I believe in incorporating hints of fashion past in my current wardrobe, being ballerina bow flats, hoop earrings or romantic tops nice 80′s remembrances; but she managed to dress the era head to toe while combining some of its worst trends. She’s not exactly a natural beauty and “age” is not improving her looks, as the mommy haircut and dubious coloring job are not, either. She should take tips from many average mallrats who look far better than her by spending a fraction of what she does.
I feel like I know what she was going for. Would this have been better if the pants were full length and with pointy stilettos? And leave them unbuttoned. I think she could have pulled it off.
Camel toe? Heck, I think we got the whole hoof.
I have been browsing online more than three hours as of late, yet I never found any fascinating article like yours. It is lovely value enough for me. In my view, if all website owners and bloggers made just right content material as you did, the web shall be much more useful than ever before.
milay got new hair style but her jeans so in 80s outfit…so it may not so good but as the fashion repeats history …she actually did so..