16 photos in gallerySo, in addition to looking like a wannabe-runaway bride and all her personal drama, I feel sort of bad for Charlene Wittstock. It must be so hard to have a royal wedding in the shadow of The Royal Wedding, which was always going to be more grand, more star-studded, more prominent. Oh well. I guess that’s why you invite Naomi Campbell: For one thing, she will wear something skimpy to the reception that looks like her torso just opened the curtain on act one of a play called Breast Of Luck, Newlyweds, and for another, maybe she will get enraged when somebody asks about her hip fungus and bury a chocolate fountain in that person’s nostril. All press is good press, right?
[Photos: Getty and Splash]
Comments (57):
I’m just amazed at how terrible Stephanie looks. I don’t know if it’s too much tanning or smoking, but her face is so lined. She’s in her 40s and her skin looks like it belongs on a 70 year old. As for Caroline, I think she looks lovely. The Monegasque royals have not had luck in marriage and I’m wondering if she knows that something is amiss with Albert and Charlene, hence the dour expression.
I am so happy you posted these. I saw Karolina Kurkova on another site and said to myself, “Self, the Fug Girls are going to have a field day with this. She looks like she’s farting netting.” Unfortunately, the rest of the guests at this wedding didn’t seem to go all bat shit crazy like they did at Wills and Kate’s. I guess they figured there was enough drama with the bride and groom without them adding to it.
as usual, the best thing about royal weddings are the guests, your comments are EXCELLENT! But, could you please arrange a virtual show down between Mary of Denmark and the new Dutchess of Cambridge? I’m getting a sneaking feeling of twins separated at birth
I actually really like Sophie Wessex’s dress. The hat is kinda crazy, but in the right way, but that dress is very, very lovely. Kate is not the only one in that family who can dress.
You guys are so awesome. I have taken way too many work breaks this morning to read your coverage, but I have been generously rewarded with full-belly laughs.
The two ladies in pic #12 both look as if they’re wearing their very fanciest bathrobes, much like what Camilla wore to Wills and Kate’s reception. Which I am still chuckling over, by the way – specifically, the dialog you girls wrote for her. Hilarious idea, that the Queen would “mess with her.” Love it!
Maria Margarita Vargas Santaella…I just want to say that name over and over and over again! Hilarious slideshow!
Too much to comment on, can’t keep it short, sorry!!!
1) I loved Naomi Campbell’s whole outfit for the wedding itself (disco fungus reception angel thing should be put in a shredder), from the pretty fascinator on down to the shoes. I like the colors a lot, and I’m not sure, but I think the big flowers on the dress are embroidered, and I love embroidery on a dress.
2) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do some Yeoh/Ferrari dude fanfic!!! Now that I know that it could possibly exist, I think I need for it to exist, but only as written by the Fug Girls.
3) PRUSSIA STILL EXISTS??? SERIOUSLY??? I had no idea. *off to google*
4) Sophie’s outfit, especially the hat, is fantastic, but the shoes. . .that hat demands better than those not-quite-sexy-librarian heels. Maybe something pointy and metallic?
5) J. Lo on the top step is wearing a dress I would happily wear to anywhere. J. Lo on the bottom step looks very brave wearing those platforms with what appears to be a bun in the oven.
6) Pretty in Pink, all of you Grimaldi girls. Too bad your brother seems to be a wanker.
7) Dear Karolina Kurkova, alleged supermodel: see Naomi Campbell up there for advice on how to dress for a royal wedding. You look deranged.
Is it just me, or does it look like Sophie is grabbing Edward’s bum in the second photo (#6/16)?
Mathilde Belgique’s hat looks like “son of Princess Beatrice’s hat” … it was a bad idea in the large format and the smaller format is no improvement … agree on comments on Stephanie … hard living … none of the new in-laws look particularly happy in these photos, in general ….
I love everything about Michelle Yeoh’s outfit. She is aging ridiculously well. Also, Princess Carolina is both lovely and reminiscent of Joan Collins. I would’ve loved to have sat next to her at the wedding!
@Bee If the lovely Fug girls actually do a showdown between Mary and Catherine they really should also include Princess Marie of Denmark (married to Frederiks brother), who also looks freakishly like both Mary and Catherine
oh, @nichole, about Princess Stephanie: she looks so rough because of The Drug Years. Allegedly.
She, to whom J.Lo would totally be jealous of her tan, is Princess of Morocco and her children (in the back)
OMG, Stephanie, Caroline, and the kids! Talk about looks of “God, this is going to end SO badly for A & C.” Where’s the family of the bride? Does Charlene have ANYONE supporting her?
Also, Naomi’s reception dress is indescribably tacky. Gah. At least the hats are fun! That’s one silver lining, right?
I’m glad you posted these. The mother of the bride was also sporting a hat that looked like Cameron Diaz’s hair after that particular scene in “There’s Something about Mary.” I was hoping that would make the list, but nonetheless, this is hilarious.
@Casey–I thought the same thing about Sophie’s hand placement!
Michelle Yeoh is going to be hotter at 85 than I currently am at 30. I have such a crush on her. I watched Memoirs of a Geisha during the long weekend and it reawakened my love. I think she and her fiancee are adorable. Sure, he’s 70 years older (that’s an estimate), but personality goes a long way. Hopefully he’s got a great one!
It’s not just you, Casey–it *totally* looks like soon-to-be-Princess Sophie of Prussia is getting in a little squeeze. Her sly smile in that picture only makes it seem more so.
The one picture of Sophie and Edward with the faux-exorcist head tilt illusion seems to reveal the true purpose of her hat: a husband shield.
Seriously, she could be voting/eating pie/having an illicit affair behind that thing and he’d never know.
Why is Sophie Wessex’s hat placed so its between her and Edward? Surely she needs to be able to whisper comments to him about other peoples outfits/other gossip, and that hat is just getting in the way! Why could it not be worn so it covers the other side of her face? (or the two of them stand the other way around?
What, not even one little mention of Charlotte Casiraghi? Even though she appears to be wearing a veiled headband and a backwards dress?
I am puzzled — how does Prussia have a Prince? Is this like the Greek monarchy in exile? Except Prussia was absorbed into Germany forever ago. Confusion everywhere.
Mathilde looks like she’s taking hat design tips from Eugenie and Beatrice. Never a good idea.
The lady in the blue dress behind Princess Stephanie is trying to escape prosecution for crimes against Muppets. Run fast, blue. Animal will get you in the end.
I love how these “royal” people just come out of the woodwork for such occasions. Who ARE these people?! Anyway, Mary the Dane’s dress is AMAZING. I adore that teal color and want it.
Leave it to Naomi Campbell to show up at a reception with clovers sprinkled over her ladybits. “You heard right, boys; I’m MAGICALLY DELICIOUS!”
Also, every single Grimaldi looks insanely miserable in the pictures. Wasn’t ANYONE in the family happy about this wedding?
Edward and Sophie are the Earl and Countess of Wessex, not Duke and Duchess.
Caroline actually looks more haggard than Stéphanie at this point, which is tough to pull off!
Photo 6: Prussian chick looks JUST LIKE Woody Harrelson!
OH MY DO I HAVE THOUGHTS:
1) Indeed, these events were the Babes-With-Toads-apalooza.
2) Naomi Campbell rocking the white “SEE ME” thing with the fake emeralds was far and away the best look of the whole godforsaken weekend.
3) Didn’t think I’d ever say that about Naomi.
4) I know Monaco. Spent a day (no! a week!) there once.
5) If Monaco were a secondary emotion, it would be Contempt.
I have nothing useful to add… but I have enjoyed my day here at GFY HQ…. you ladies always make me laugh and snort… probably not a good thing at work
Oh and the inlaws do not look happy in any of these photos…. does not bode well.
Heeee! Was waiting for an extensive post by you gals on this shindig!
And about the Prussia question raised here: that guy would be our Kaiser/emperor in Germany right now if we hadn’t done away with Monarchy in 1918 thus his title is really just a name… And they are going to have a wedding this year as well! More wacky costumes coming!
Princess Caroline = Joan Collins is hilariously on the money. But why no picture of the incredibly ugly dress Caroline was wearing with the big hat?
Just so you all know, Naomi Campbell wore that white number to Steve Wynn’s wedding a couple of months ago. In Las Vegas. It sort of worked in that context.
@ Count Snarkula: But then, what is Monaco if not the Las Vegas of the Mediterranean?
Oh, Anne B., I am so glad you exist. I almost snorted my tea, reading your comments.
Also, I thought Maria Margarita Vargas etc.’s dress was to die for, and Sophie Wessex looked lovely. That is all.
Maria Margarita’s Carolina Herrera was gorgeous. Figures that the Venezuelan girl would go for the Venezuelan designer. She is married to Louis-Alphonse de Bourbon (in France) or Luis Alfonso de Borbon (in Spain) who is a claimant to the French throne (in competition with the Count of Paris) as well as a descendant of both King Alfonso of Spain, and the man who overthrew him, General Franco. Since he was named “Duke of Anjou” (a title disputed by the King of Spain and his supporters) on the wedding guest list, the King of Spain backed out of the wedding at the last minute in protest and didn’t send any other family respresentative. Albert’s godmother was the king’s grandmother, a granddaughter of Queen Victoria.
AREN’T THESE ROYALS JUST FASCINATING!?!
Loved Sophie, Countess of Wessex’s outfit, but she and Princess Mathilde of Belgium need to stop wearing pantyhose with open-toed shoes. Especially shiny pantyhose.
The Caftans of Excellence are the mother-daughter team from Morocco.
Bertie’s family have never looked so dour and unpleasant. This is so like Princess Grace at her religious service. She looked positively ill. Maybe there’s some Secret of the House of Monaco, like lycanthropy, that they only tell the brides a moment before she steps down the aisle.
princess mary is the best thing that EVER came out of australia.
one thing, Fug Girls; I can’t believe you didn’t use this opportunity to post at least one picture of prince fred of denmark. MANY PHOTOS OF FRED NEED TO HAPPEN. he is a dreamboat.
Mathilde is the princess of Belguim and mine in the end
I LOVED Princess Mary of Denmark’s dress – the colour was stunning!
Do you know people go to the Slippin Bar in Sydney where she met Frederik now to “meet a prince”? It’s a running joke whenever someone says that’s where they’re going.
I hate to be nit-picky, but Edward and Sophie are the Earl and Countess of Wessex, not the Duke and Duchess.
Why no, I certainly DO NOT know this because I spent a few hours this weekend reading the Wikipedia articles on the royal family. How dare you suggest such a thing!
I love the royal posts! I so want to be a princess, and only partly because I want to wear fancy hats!
The commentary was spot-on, as usual. Thanks so much for helping me get through the first day of the work week!
Thank you Nele, for answering the Prussia question! I too was wondering. I must say it was awfully nice of Germany to let the royal family keep their titles at least, instead of taking them down to a basement and mowing them down with bullets then covering them with sulfuric acid in the woods somewhere.
And I now know who the Duke of Anjou is!! This is EDUCATIONAL.
In picture #14, they all have their chins stuck out at terrifying angles. (Very reminiscent of me after a long day hunched over the computer, but luckily nobody is taking pictures of me.) Don’t princesses get governesses specifically to stamp out that sort of thing in childhood? Standards are slipping all over.
Prince Edward looks dementedly Ruritarian in that white uniform, if uncannily youthful. Is he an honorary military commander of some sort? – years ago he dropped out of the Marines, so hasn’t served in any of the forces.
About Mathilde, her real official name is “Mathilde d’Udekem d’Acoz
Duchesse de Brabant”.
“Belgique” is only the name of her country.
Nothing says Chanel like a disco ass cape! At events like this Joan Collins is about the sanest thing to come to mind.
Thank Heaven for royal weddings. I learn so much–about forgotten countries–and hats!–that just would never come to light without them.
Yep, as a few people have said, the JLos in pic 12 are the Princess of Morocco, her daughter, the Princess of Morocco (go figure) and their posse. They were fab. Loved what Sophie was wearing, but Edward looks like a little boy trying on his dad’s uniform.
And I’d like to thank you for not showing a pic of Charlene’s brothers, they looked skeevy as hell and gave me the heebie-jeebies. But her mom looked really young and fabulous, and had a Sophie-like hat on, so kinda missing her pic. Also would’ve liked to see your take on Princess Victoria of Sweden (looking great) and Charlotte Casiraghi, whose headband-miniveil made me think she’d put it together with scissors and glue. Seriously, I thought I could make one in about 4 minutes.
sophie countess of wessex is wearing the most BRILLIANT hat ever. she never has to even SEE her husband again, if she doesn’t want to.
… no prince carl of sweden? *weeps*
That Grimaldi family is one grim looking group. Oh to be flies on their walls
Loved the slideshow – more royal action please!
Just wanted to point out there already was a movie made about Princess Mary’s drunken bar hookup cum royal appointment – the Julia Stiles classic ‘The Prince and I’ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Prince_and_Me
It’s a truly awful movie, based very, very loosely on Mary and Frederik.
Karolina Kurkova made my day by wearing an ass-cape.
postscript: I love and wear hats not just because I can, but because they lend class and the wearer gets the interest.
As a Dane, I’d love to see a showdown between Mary and the lovely Duchess. I think our princess is rather fab – on one hand, she’s juggling a busy life with four kids (can you believe she gave birth to big, healthy twins in January?), on the other hand she has more freedom to be what she wants to be, and look how she wants to look. No peep-toe rule, y’all! Our girl is allowed fabulous heels! Plus, her hubby is a softhearted, yet kickass marine, with a fabulous head of hair
I think the lady in the pale pink kaftan thingy is Princess Lalla Salma of Morocco.
Who knew there were so many royals still? That Prussian couple did look fun. Colin Firth could play him. I don’t think Stephanie looks that bad. She’s in in her forties and look at that bone structure! Regular people wrinkle. Were those her children too? Handsome family.