Fug File: Met Ball

Fug or Fab: Jessica Chastain

May 18, 2011 By Heather AT 2:00 pm
Jessica Chastain
Jessica ChastainJessica ChastainJessica ChastainJessica Chastain
6 photos in gallery

So, Jessica Chastain is about to hit it big, potentially — I’d never heard of her, but suddenly here she is, with The Help coming in 2011 alongside The Tree of Life and a two other projects, and two other biggies for 2012, including one by Terence Malick. And it’s certainly something of a coming-out party to debut at Cannes alongside Sean “Bouffant” Penn and Brad “Ewffant” Pitt, neither of whom let her out of their (somewhat creepy-looking) sights during the entire premiere. But how has she done on the red carpet? Let’s take a look at her three Cannes events, and what the hell, we’ll throw in the Met Ball too. Welcome to the spotlight, kiddo.

Give her a grade:

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Met Ball Fug or Fab: Nicole Richie

May 5, 2011 By Jessica AT 2:30 pm

Remember when she was driving the wrong way on the freeway and had terrible cornrows and we all thought she and Paris were eventually going to be cellmates?

I’m glad it didn’t work out that way. Even if she DOES appear to be wearing a sleeve that….is also an arm-warmer? Although in a way, are not ALL sleeves arm-warmers? For what IS a sleeve if not a device that warms the arms? If you wear it on your arms, do your arms not warm? And yet does THIS sleeve warm the arm? I wager it does not. It may merely warm the wrist, and is therefore more of a WRIST-warmer. And the wrist is one part of the body for which the sleeve is not TECHNICALLY responsible. Ergo, IS THIS A SLEEVE AT ALL?!?!

I am having an existential crisis.

So while I ponder OUR VERY EXISTENCE:

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Met Ball Fuggish Carpet: Keri Hilson

May 5, 2011 By Heather AT 2:00 pm

It’s not even that I think this is 100 percent awful.

But… does it look a bit like she’s urinating tulle? Because now that I’ve seen that, I can’t go back.

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Met Ball Fug Carpet: Julianna Margulies

May 5, 2011 By Jessica AT 1:30 pm

Oh, dude:

First and foremost, I do have to say that I love how EXCITED and cute Narciso Rodriguez is in this picture. The last few times Heather and I have been to his shows, Julianna here has been ABSENT and instead of just assuming that was because she was off filming The Good Wife, we started to fret that they’d had a falling out. Which would be totally inappropriate. Look how much he obviously thinks she rocks — and we’re certainly hope it’s true. She SEEMS like she would rock — she’s awesome in that show, which is actually totally awesome all around, even if it is on CBS and seems from the outside that it would be boring and for old people. And he also looks like a blast. Which is why I think we’re all going to get through the fact that he seems to have dressed her a bit like something you’d see in a summer stock production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream to live long, happy, and productive lives together.

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Met Ball Surprisingly Well Played: Ciara and Ashley Greene

May 5, 2011 By Heather AT 1:00 pm

Ciara is not someone on whom I generally rely for restraint.

Needless to say, this shocked the pants off me. Had I been holding a sandwich — and in retrospect, why on Earth wasn’t I? — it would’ve clattered out of my hand (so, good thing I wasn’t; also, what kind of sandwich was that, that makes a clattering noise?). The ombre effect is pretty, the detailing is gorgeous, and the ice blue up top is fab. Even SHE looks suspicious, like, “Wait, hang on, is this a joke and someone’s going to tear away my skirt to reveal mesh bike shorts?”

Another surprise: Ashley Greene.

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Met Ball Well Played, Amy Poehler

May 5, 2011 By Jessica AT 12:30 pm

I don’t know, you guys. I kind of love Amy Poehler here:

I mean, I love Amy Poehler in general — Parks and Rec is on A ROLL right now, even if I always accidentally type it as Pacs and Reck, because I am an idiot – but for me, there’s something about this that just WORKS. It’s fancy without being too whimsical, and her necklace is awesome. I saw on Twitter that some people thought her makeup didn’t work, but I actually like how her head went and got all dramatic on us. The whole thing kind of says, “Am I a super funny lady with a very successful career and a really hot husband and two really cute kids AND an awesome necklace and a whole lot of eyeliner? YES. ENJOY.”

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