Fug File: athletes

Fugs and Fabs: The 2013 NFL Draft

Apr 26, 2013 By Heather AT 9:00 am
#1: Eric Fisher
#2: Luke Joeckel#3: Dion Jordan#4: Lane JohnsonEzekiel Ansah
22 photos in gallery

The draft has gotten increasingly boring now that almost every pick is preceded by footage of the player talking on the phone, and high-fiving people, and being handed a hat. I like SUSPENSE, which directly goes against ESPN’s apparent mandate to create interesting programming. (Like, can’t you show some of the reactions and tears and celebrating AFTER the pick, under some interviews, or when you’re stuck between your analysis of its wisdom and guessing who’ll get called next?) The other outgrowth of what a spectacle the draft is now: The players get styled, which has, sadly, washed some of the pizzazz out of it. Still, let’s take a look at how the nineteen first-round picks in attendance did.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fug the Uniforms: adidas

Mar 18, 2013 By Heather AT 10:00 am
Big East Basketball Tournament - Notre Dame v Marquette
Big East Basketball Tournament - Notre Dame v MarquetteBig East Basketball Tournament - Notre Dame v MarquetteCincinnatiCincinnati
11 photos in gallery

For the various basketball conference tournaments (please, not the official March Madness tourney, or “madness” it will be), adidas made special-occasion uniforms for six teams. Six teams they OBVIOUSLY HATE. FOR THESE ARE AWFUL. SO AWFUL. When I saw Notre Dame’s green “away” kit, I almost passed out on the spot — which is an accomplishment considering how screamingly loud they are — and then Tweeted that they are a neon aneurysm. Also, Time wisely left Zubaz behind. Why can’t adidas?

[Photos: Getty]

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Fugs and Fabs: Assorted Super Bowl Events

Feb 5, 2013 By Heather AT 8:00 am
Jennifer Hudson
Alicia KeysNina DobrevOlivia MunnOlivia Munn
22 photos in gallery

It is REALLY hard to keep tabs on all the people who were partying in New Orleans this weekend. This is the best assortment I could muster, but if I missed anything egregious, please do post a link in the comments. No Crazy Stones must be left unturned.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fabs and Fabbers of the US National Figure-Skating Championship

Jan 31, 2013 By Jessica AT 1:00 pm
Jeremy Abbott Free Skate Disasterathon
Jeremy Abbott Short ProgramMax Aaron Free SkateMax Aaron Short ProgramRoss Miner Free Skate
45 photos in gallery

We have a LOT to talk about with regards to the American chances at Worlds and next year’s Olympics, you guys. I’m not too worried about the women or the ice dancers at the moment, but when Evan Lysacek is talking about his comeback, I feel like the subtext of all of his very media-trained comments is “let’s get real, Scott Hamilton, I can make this team with one leg!” And I am worried that our pairs teams are going to get ice-slapped by basically every other country on the planet — none of the teams that placed last year even SKATED last year, in part because a bunch of them broke up. Which, obviously, I really need to hear the gossip about in the comments.

[Photos: Getty]

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SAG Awards Well Played: Gabby Douglas

Jan 29, 2013 By Heather AT 2:30 pm

I have never said this before, ever, and maybe never will again: This fantastic dress SO makes me want to be a teenager again.

 

Except when I was a teenager, I never would have dressed this well, ever — but then, if I got to go back with all the knowledge I have now, I could fab myself up and then leave everyone with the most stirring memories of my awesomeness. It’s really unfortunate that time-travel and astral rewinds have not been invented as pleasure sports. What the hell else are scientists doing that’s so freaking important anyway? Sheesh.

[Photo: Getty]

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Fug the Uniforms: College Football

Oct 18, 2012 By Heather AT 8:00 am
Wisconsin v Nebraska: Sept. 29, 2012
Wisconsin v Nebraska: Sept. 29, 2012South Carolina v LSU: Oct. 13, 2012South Carolina v LSU: Oct. 13, 2012Missouri v South Carolina: Sept. 22, 2012
13 photos in gallery

This feels like it’s getting out of hand. I know ND did its green jerseys ages ago, and some teams do blackout games, and of course Oregon’s annual fresh cabal of heinous neon wardrobe changes. But now suddenly every week some NCAA team or other is wearing a completely different outfit on the field, half the time in colors that are adjacent at best to their actual school themes and make them almost unrecognizable. I know the athletic departments probably rake in a boatload of cash in jersey sales because of this, and certainly Oregon’s win-loss record has thrived during this time, but… I’m a traditionalist. Whatever happened to consistent school colors? Y’all really can’t get fired up for a big game any other way? I’ve worn the same ND jerseys every Saturday for a decade and I have no trouble getting into my weekly game day rabidness. I’m frothing at the mouth right now and it’s only Wednesday.

[Photos: Getty]

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