Fug File: green

Well Played, Rooney Mara

Feb 6, 2012 By Heather AT 11:00 am
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You know, when it goes — and someday I’m sure it will — I’m going to miss the black hair.

I can’t get over what lovely eyes Rooney has, and she’s figured out how to make the hair and her makeup and her skin tone work together to accent them. In fact, she had an all-around solid weekend: Not only are the shoes great and the green dress is adorable, but her family’s team won the Super Bowl, and so therefore I believe it’s the rule of the universe that any onion dip, chips, and beers consumed in service of rooting for the home team officially contain negative calories and in fact retroactively are full only of healthy vitamins and antioxidants. Did I mention I was conceived in New York City? It counts, Universe. It counts. My cellulite will be expecting your call.

[Photo: Getty]

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Golden Globes Well Played: Laura Dern

Jan 17, 2012 By Heather AT 4:00 pm

Back at last year’s Globes, I unpopularly liked Angelina Jolie’s green sparkly dress; in hindsight I wonder if THIS is the dress I badly wanted that one to be:

Still classy, but with a pinch of cleavage. Laura Dern looks radiant. Also, Classy With A Pinch of Cleavage would make a killer autobiography title, if she’s hunting for one. Although maybe it’d be better suited to J.Lo. HAHAHA. Oh, man, it is too early in the week for me to be this punchy. Besides, obviously I meant to say Gaga.

[Photos: Getty]

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Fug or Fab: Jessica Chastain

Jan 10, 2012 By Heather AT 10:00 am
Jessica Chastain
Jessica ChastainJessica Chastain
3 photos in gallery

In which we discover whether my love of a redhead in green extends to a redhead in this green.

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[Photos: Getty]

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Fug or Fab or Unfug: Jessica Chastain

Dec 13, 2011 By Heather AT 12:00 pm

Lord knows I love a redhead in green.

And I almost love this redhead in THIS green, but there’s something about the midsection that’s bugging me. Specifically, if it were me in this dress, I would be frowning and asking Jessica, “Does this make me look pregnant?” And she’d be like, “But you’re not pregnant,” and I’d say, “But nobody knows that, and I don’t want to LOOK pregnant,” and she’d reply, “But people will see that it’s the dress and not you,” and then sensibly she’d tell me to take it off and discard it because I’d either never wear it, or wear it and spend all night obsessing over what people think is happening in my womb. So. This is the dilemma here. I also am not wild about how that seam bisects her chest. Just thought I’d throw that in there. But: green! Such a nice green! So you might as well vote it up:

First, the green:

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Coyote Fugly

Dec 7, 2011 By Heather AT 11:00 am

This isn’t a dress, to me, so much as an infomercial.

It’s part Snuggie, part sweatshirt, part poncho: the Snugshirtcho. Call now and get free instructions for how to turn it into a tent that houses three, and they’ll throw in a ripcord so you can deploy it as a reserve chute — you know, on those days when you’re up in a tiny plane hanging out watching movies and eating popcorn, before you realize you’re due at a party in half an hour. If I had a nickel…

[Photo: Getty]

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Latin Grammys Well Played: Zoe Saldana

Nov 11, 2011 By Heather AT 7:00 am

Oh my God. It’s not even fair.

Like, does she have to make it look so freaking easy all the time? This makes her look crazy tall, it’s a lively color, it’s sequins (the PRECIOUS), and her hair is perfect. I want to send her back in time to when she made Crossroads and be like, “Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to leave Britney with nuggets of your wizardry.” I mean, why NOT use her powers for good, huh?

[Photo: Getty]

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