47Okay, THIS is Kate’s last appearance before the Glorious Appearance of the Heir, not last week’s big cruise ship christening. I’m pretty sure. I guess it stands to reason that you’re not really allowed to miss the Queen’s Birthday Celebration unless you’re in the Tower for eating the last of the palace’s peanut butter or whatever.
[Photos: Getty]
6497Lots of random royals turned out for this one. Sweden must be very popular (or related to a lot of them, or both). Also: Half of Roxette performed at the ceremony. That is about as stereotypically Swedish as we tacky Yanks can imagine, except if the church were furnished by Ikea, the bride was given away by ABBA, and they dined on meatballs served by the bikini team.
[Photos: Getty]
62Princess Madeleine — who, incidentally, turns 31 today — is fourth in line for the Swedish throne, and got married over the weekend to a British-American banker she met in the U.S. But it is juicy and soapy, just as we would always want royal shenanigans to be: She met Chris O’Neill when she fled here after a broken engagement that it SOUNDS like she had to pretend was still intact long enough to get through her sister’s wedding without a big scandal; she has placed anywhere from third to 12th over the years in various surveys of Hottest Royals; was once known as a party princess; was pulled over a few days before the wedding for driving in a bus lane and pleaded royal privilege to get out of it; has a brother who is dating an ex-porn star/nude model, whom he snuck into the formal wedding pictures despite general objections; and her new husband turned down a Swedish royal title so he can remain a private citizen, which to me says he loves her and isn’t it for the rank, although that seems to shine through in the photos. Unless he is acting, in which case, Princess Charlene, you need to pay him for lessons.
[Photos: Getty]
28I love looking at covers of magazines which are published in languages I am unable to read, because it means I can invent the headlines. I’m sure this issue of Japanese Vogue is touting the usual Vogue articles, which I imagine to be universal — something about a weird new plastic surgery meant to alleviate a cosmetic problem we weren’t even aware was a problem, something about a rich and expensively dressed woman who also runs an art gallery/investment brokerage/dermatology practice and everything she wears therein, something about a new starlet whose parents are obscurely famous and the charming dinner parties she gives for hipsters, the end — but I like to think it’s sporting things like, “Princess Charlene: She Wore Color Once. Can It Happen Again?” and “Women Who Might Hate Their Husbands: How To Talk To Them” and “So You Tried To Flee The Country: Three Women Speak Out.”
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Fab the Hats: Royal Ascot, Day 1
BEHOLD: CRANIAL THUNDER.
[Photos: Getty]
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