Okay, look. I don’t totally hate this top:
But that’s a top you pick up at Anthropologie on sale and you wear it with jeans on the weekend. And flats. At the farmer’s market with the kids. Later, on the deck, for cocktails with close friends. (Note: I have neither kids nor deck, but I DO like to pick out clothes based on what I’d be doing if I were wearing them in a catalog.) It’s casual. It’s cute. It’s whimsical. I love a whimsical pattern — you should see my living room! — but the pearls takes this whole thing from Charming McWhimsy to Awkward McMyDressDidntFitSoWeHadToThrowThisTogetherOnTheFly, a place which lives right on the edge of Pregnant 50s Housewife. In short: her proportions look totally off in this whole thing. My question: Can you fix it?