Oh, no no no, girl. No.
It’s just not working. Not least because of the shoes — those are so heavy that she might as well be shuffling around with her feet strapped to some barbells. But I’m not totally sure if this could be salvaged by our brain stylists, or if it just needs to go out with the Salvation Army bag. What if the skirt were black, and floor-length? Or a black pencil cut, maybe a touch shorter, and she kept the shoes? Or if the skirt was solid, she used different shoes, and still hemmed it a wee? Or would you lose the top part? What if the blouse were white? Cut slightly less International House of Boobcakes at the neck? And is the hair too severe for this, or would that work if we monkeyed with everything else?
All I know for sure is, this feels like a big old mess. Oscar is looming, girl, and so is our judgment. PLEASE just go relax for three days and then hire Emma Stone’s stylist to close the deal.
[Photo: Getty]
Comments (57):
The top is just horrendous. No skirt or shoes could ever change that.
The top is the problem. Replace that awful, awful, jacket with a fitted black v-neck sweater, and things would be fine.
Let’s start by losing the underboob dust ruffle.
I pretty much love everything Chastain wears, so I feel disappointed! But, I do love her makeup & the fabric! If this was a dress instead of separates, it could be a winner! Take the underboob ruffles and make it a solid piece of fabric fitted to her waist and continuing to above the knees, put on some killer silver stilettos and let her hair down! Now, I love the new image of it in my head, so I feel better!
*Take the ruffles OFF!*
Step 1 – Remove jacket and skirt.
Step 2 – Burn jacket and skirt.
Step 3 – Bury ashes in a sink hole.
Step 4 – Choose something else.
My sentiments exactly, except toss in the shoes as well. They leave no place for something called toes to rest on.
EXACTLY!
I think she just needs to start over. First, the colour of that thing is not good for her. She looks as though she’s just been brought back to life. (A recurring condition I also suffer from so I know what I’m talking about here.)
Also, that is possibly the least flattering top I’ve ever seen. Hair is too harsh. Shoes wrong. Skirt, meh. Can’t find anything redeeming here.
Cannot be saved. Everything is awful.
A peplum is generally supposed to start at the traditional-waist level, not the empire-waist level.
Alexander McQueen is rolling over in his grave that this dress left his house with his name on it. What the hell was Sarah Burton thinking?
Worked better on the runway with the inhumanly skinny model. Not great, but better. Shoes were definitely better, though I don’t know any mortal women who could wear them.
http://www.style.com/fashionshows/complete/slideshow/S2012RTW-AMCQUEEN?event=show2342&designer=design_house43&trend=&iphoto=11#slide=11
THOSE shoes are awesome! But I know no one who could actually wear them.
As for Chastain…she dresses horribly. The end.
I think it’s the hat that makes it work on the runway. Yeah, the hat.
See, you can’t have the sad boob happening. That neckline calls out for sternum only! Get Rihanna!
She’s very petite, but also very curvy and that peplum is just hitting her the worst possible spot. It makes her look thick, when she actually has a gorgeous hourglass figure. Lose the peplum, or scoot it about 6 inches south, so we can actually see her waist, and then pair it with a black pencil skirt and a more delicate, closed toe shoe.
Teal peep toes instead. That is all I would change.
Here’s my advice: Take everything off. Start over with an entirely different outfit. The end.
I am in 100% agreement with the Fugs here, but what about Jessica’s green dress from last night’s Charlie Chaplin awards thingy? I NEED to hear what y’all have to say about it. I am so excited/ scared over what she is going to do on Sunday. She has so much potential.
For me the biggest issue is the ruffle.
Ms Chastain has a beautiful hourglass figure and needs to understand that in order to flatter it, her waist needs to be defined, not disguised.
She could try smiling. That might help a little.
Of course, I just noticed that there’s a demon face over her crotch region and now I can’t unsee it. This entire thing is a shitstorm.
Huh. Looks like the Pope to me.
Crap. Now I think it might be a Rorschach test and I totally failed.
I could see this on a scheming, skanky, man-stealing mother or step-mother of the bride character in a Lifetime Movie.
Are bagel boobs going to be a thing now?
I don’t even think it’s that bad at all, except the neck line needs to be changed and either put the ruffles at hip level or cut them off, otherwise I like the fabric and I think the colour is fine
Huh. I don’t mind it at all, except she could have gone with better shoes. I think she does need to learn what to do with her hair. It never looks that good.
The hair is much too severe. In fact, the styling is completely wrong for the romantic tailoring of this McQueen peplum jacket and pencil skirt. Also, would it kill the girl to give us a little smile? She’s looks completely bored with the proceedings; we cannot have burn-out this close to Oscar night.
I like the fabric and taylored look, but the boob exposure ruins it.
That’s the worst thing about it: A very tailored jacket with standup collar, shoulder pads, long sleeves, piped edges, and misplaced peplum just DOES NOT GO with major cleavage.
And that patterned fabric just does not go in a pencil skirt.
This cannot be fixed. What on Earth did she DO to her boobs? I think it is a optical illusion from the piping. Holy Mother. I don’t see a demon on her crotch, I see more of a viking. That color is not doing The Corpse Bride any favors either.
At first all I could see was boobs. Now I can’t unsee the viking. Fortunately, it’s distracting me from seeing the hair, the peplum, the fabric, and the shoes. I’d look glum too., honey.
Her boobs look like they found the break in the security ruffle and they are about to make a run for it … and who can blame them!
that is one of the ugliest necklines I’ve ever seen. Doesn’t help that she’s not wearing a bra either. Ugh.
Good God and Greyhound! The peplum has become sentient and is threatening to squeeze her to death at the midriff, like an anaconda made of a dust ruffle. Even without the top, that fabric is Grandma’s loveseat, and with her pale, wan face and yanked-back ponytail and clodhopper footwear, it’s all too much to bear.
I hate the ruffles! If they were gone, this might be a little cuter. Also, I think the hair is way, way too severe… and those shoes just don’t go.
Somebody threw in all the design features they could think of and hot-wired the RoboFashion 3000. It’s a dangerous thing in the wrong hands.
1. Smile
2. Fix the hair.
3. Change outfit.
4. Smile.
5. Try a brighter shade of lipstick.
6. Smile.
Remove the ruffles for a slim one-piece, plunge neck dress. And let me see a little knee.
What can I say, I like it. She needs to sort of own it a little more (think Cate Blanchett), but it’s fun.
This is like the world’s worst mother of the bride outfit: slutty and saggy in equal measure. The material is too heavy, the peplum makes her body look rectangular, the structured shoulders and high neck are too severe, not “80′s fun,” which is what I think she was going for here. And yeah: the outfit is wearing her, not the other way around.
Again I have to ask: didn’t she look at herself in the mirror before leaving the house? Why is this such a difficult thing for people like Chastain, Kristen Wiig, Julianne Moore and Christina Hendricks? Don’t they have backup outfits? Jiminy.
Changing that top for a simple black top would fix it for me, maybe even a simple crew top. Also, that red on her nails is making her phalanges look inflamed, which is not great. Why do people do this to their bewbs? I just don’t get why anyone thinks it looks good? Maybe I’m too modest?
Da fcuk?! Why a ruffle breast?
She looks so ~happy~ with her ensemble.
The shoes need to go; perhaps a purple tstrap? Sternum Peplum is NEVER a good idea. Not ever. Purple tstrap with no peplum, just a sheath, and the IHOB can stay.
What? No.
As it currently stands, NO but…
Trim and move the ruffles to her tiny waist, hem the skirt to the knee, hang an interesting pendent in the the cleavage, change to a more delicate shoe in purple or dark teal, soften the hair and makeup and we would have a modern interpretation of 40′s fashion.
Makes me think of that red-headed girl with the funnily screechy voice from Rocky Horror Picture Show.
In a bad kinda way. =D
I’m too distracted by the horrible top to even consider the skirt. It makes her boobs look droopy and totally erases her waist. Burn the top, and we can talk about the skirt. Then we can deal with the shoes. I just can’t cope with that top.
The rib-ruffle is my biggest objection. Lose that, the sleeves, hike the skirt up a bit, go with loose, beachy hair, some neutral heels, maybe some eyeliner, and I think this would be okay.
No bloody ruffle. Augh.
Lose the boob peplum and i can live with the shoes.
I never, never, never want to have to even think the words “empire peplum” again.
It makes her look heavy! How is that possible? She’s NOT heavy. She’s been in bandage dresses with almost no breasts in sight. The only nice thing I can say is that her skin looks good.
The biggest problem for me is not the outfit but her fake ‘blue steel’ facial expression, and I certainly ignore why this lady doesn’t work her innate prettiness.
The underbust ruffle wouldn’t look so bad if she shortens the skirt up to right above the knee, and replaces the shoes by pointy stilettos or really great grey/ silvery sandals. But all together is just too much exponential mumsie. And of course, she should pick a good bra.
Imagine yourself in fantasy Chastain-ville. Add vodka.
The only thing I would do would be to have the jacket neckline dip to some point above her breasts rather than underneath them. Honey, half the adult population has breasts. We get it.
Other than that I love this, it’s striking and very stylised. She looks like she’s wearing a costume, making a statement and the boldness and the way she’s riffing off her skin tone to heighten the overall effect is quite arresting. I’m a sucker for people of any ethnicity wearing things that really show off the skin-colour nature gave them.