Who Fugged ‘Em More: Elisabeth Moss vs. January Jones

The first news is that Elisabeth Moss has scrapped the blonde.

I actually miss it, although I suspect it’s because Peggy Olsen has not yet discovered peroxide. But maybe what’s holding her back here, for me, is the fact that her makeup seems to belong with a totally different outfit. As do her shorts, which are so nondescript and tiresome. She’s, like, jazz hands on the top and gym rat on the bottom. I wish I could’ve seen the blazer and bright shirt with a skinny pant, or stylized tuxedo trouser. But if she had her heart set on formal shorts, I think she needed more interesting shoes with them. You need to SELL those suckers. To put this in terms Peggy would appreciate, those shorts are baked beans. You need to trick people into thinking they’re a delicious idea.

January Jones also went with formal shorts:

Bonus points for the color; demerits for the fact that it looks like her child did her eye-makeup. And I legitimately can’t tell if that’s a romper, or a sweater/shirt and shorts, or… quite what this is.

But it LOOKS like it’s a romper that’s designed to make you scratch your head about its true nature. I don’t like it when rompers try to vex me. The world has enough problems.

So basically, it was Mad Men themed Battle Formal Shorts up in here. I wish we had Chairman Kaga of the original Iron Chef to officiate, but in his absence, I invite you to inhale deeply, tear a chunk out of a raw bell pepper, then cackle maniacally at the wall before shouting “ALLEZ FASHION” and then asking some random politician and fortune teller to pick the winner.

Which shorts do you like the least?